Ruthenium [Ruth]:
- Jan Scholten
Head of personnel
Ruthenium is an unknown remedy.
Signature
The name is derived from the Latin word ruthania, which means Russia. It was discovered in 1844.
Ruthenium is very hard, durable, corrosion resistant and brittle.
It is used in nibs for fountain pens and in electrical points.
Alloyed with platina it increases the overall hardness. Just like Palladium it has a strong affinity to Hydrogen.
Concepts
Stage 8 Silver series
Perseverance Creation Inspiration
Carrying on Ideas Culture
Forcing Unique admiration
Heavy Pressure Aesthetics: Beautiful Ugly
Resistance Opposition Art Science Mysticism
Calculating Queen Ambition
Concentration Humiliation
Sexuality
Middle age
Town Province
Voice hearing
Mysticism Priest
Group analysis
Forcing yourself to present your ideas.
Forcing your ideas on others: convincing.
Forcing works of art.
Writing a blockbuster.
A persuasive spokesman.
A forceful spokesman, teacher.
Having to achieve as an artist.
The mediator who is under pressure: the head of the personnel department.
The pressure of a promotion.
The pressure of a creation.
Art is a struggle.
Opposition against creations.
Planning a work of art.
Failure through forcing the creative flow.
A minister who is being opposed.
A heavy religious task.
Forced sex.
A persevering sportsman, -woman.
Picture of Ruthenium metallicum
Essence: forcing yourself to present your ideas.
Forcing yourself to present your ideas
They feel that they have to force themselves to present their ideas. It is a heavy task and there is much work to be done. They feel the pressure, but they have to carry on to get the job done.
A daily struggle to master a piece of music. A tremendous effort to write their book. A heavy task to get their Ph. D. research project under way. But somehow they find the strength to persevere, they are very independent and resolute in their ways.
Forcing your ideas onto others: convincing They are terribly enthusiastic about their profession, whether it is art or science or politics or spirituality. They exude an air of knowing how to do things, all they have to do is convince others. They like to convince others that thy are right, that their ideas should be accepted. They are not to be deterred by objections or irrelevant details.
In Holland we have a comedian who perfectly fits this picture. He carries on with his act with a dead pan face while the whole audience is collapsing with laughter.
Opposition against creations
They experience their inspiration as a form of pressure, something which can only be realised by a lot of hard work. The pressure is in the creative process itself, but they tend to experience their surroundings as an opposing force as well. The pressure they have created inside themselves gets projected onto others who are felt to be uncooperative. Other people are jealous and hinder their artistic talents. Other people hamper their creative work. The little tasks of every day life get in the way, they act as a brake instead of a point of focus. They want to have plenty of time, space and money to concentrate on their creations without being interrupted.
They tend to get very angry when things don't go according to plan. Adverse comments drive them mad, they can't bear criticism because it feels like opposition and they need all the strength they have got to persevere with their project.
Planning a work of art
In order to be able to cope with the large amounts of work they like to plan their days ahead. Learning the lines of a play requires endless repetition.
But inspiration can't be planned and the schedules they have constructed often don't work out, so they are always busy drawing up a new plan.
Failure through forcing their creations
When their plans don't work out they collapse into a worn out and apathetic state. They have forced themselves too much, not taking enough rest and finally breaking down under the pressure. The smallest task now seems like an impossible ordeal, the most minor detail a tremendous source of irritation. They are a failure and they no longer have the courage to appear in public. Every form of company is too much for them and they withdraw into themselves.
A persevering sportsman, - woman
This is the top sportsman who has to train hard to get to the top. The extreme training schedule may break him up eventually, before he can reach his goal.
Expressions
Fears: heights, narrow spaces, planes, teaching, performances, speeches.
Dreams: heights, falling, deformed babies because of a forced delivery, light.
Irritability: (<) humiliation. Mood: stubborn, independent, haughty, crying. Speech: halting, stuttering. Hobbies: art, music, poetry, philosophy. Needs: clearing up, restoring things, undertaking a task, refined erotic. Professions: artist, painter, writer, musician, teacher, scientist, doctor, priest, vicar, bishop, shaman, governor, secretary, representative, public relations officer, advertising agent, top sportsman or woman, personnel manager. Causes: disaster, humiliation. Generals Locality: left. Weather: cold, cold feet, (<) cold (2), (<) damp (2), (>) outside.
Time: (<) 11 am; (<) September. Desires: meat, fatty meat, gravy, sweet, shrimps, alcohol, raw food, chocolate, smoking. Aversion: spices. Food: (<) spices. Menses: profuse. Sleep: sleepy. Physical: (<) pressure, (>) working.
Complaints
Cancer.
Weakness. Bruised pains, itching.
Headache in forehead, temples and vertex.
Eye problems, disturbance in vision.
Ear ache with swollen glands in front of and behind ears. Feeling as if mandibular joints are affected, dislocation, left, (<) pressure. Colds with watery coryza. Sore throats. Voice problems, hoarseness, loss of voice, stammering. Lung problems: pressure on lungs, always aware of lungs; bronchitis, cough (<) after waking. Hyperventilation. Problems of genitalia, testes, ovaries. Cancer of prostate, cancer of testes or ovaries. Retention of urine. Neck problems, Whiplash (being hit, Stage 8, in the neck, Silver series), (<) turning head. Arm problems, stiffness. Arthritis of distal joints of fingers. Mandibular joint painful, gets dislocated (<)(<) yawning, eating. Sciatica. Feeling as if foot turn down, torn ligament in front ankle. DD: Silver series, Stage 8. DD Technetium: has more space to practice, can play about with his creations, can handle criticism. Ruthenium has the feeling he has to create, he is under great pressure to perform, there is no time for other pursuits and criticism is felt as opposition to his plans which makes him very angry. Case A 48 year old man suffers from hyperventilation. He feels afraid wherever he goes, in tunnels, in cars, traffic jams, planes, shops and particularly when he is teaching. It feels as if the sky is falling down on top of him. The fears are accompanied by pain in his chest, cramp in his heart and shocks throughout his body. His hands and feet turn cold and he gasps for breath, his oesophagus feels as if it shoots to his back. He feels he will faint when he hears about accidents or when he sees blood. He feels as if he is floating, as if the tables and chairs are moving. It started 14 years ago when he collapsed one day when he was teaching and he thought I am going to die. It feels as if his heart will pack up. The worst of it is that something is happening in his body that he can't control, that his body seems to rule him, instead of the other way around. He also has fear of heights, a fear that the building will collapse or that he will get another attack. He teaches first aid. It is a great hobby of his and he is very good at it. But he can't handle it anymore at the moment so he has given up teaching. It all got too much for him, he felt he had to give his best performance at all times. He felt afraid that he would suddenly forget what to say and that people would think him a failure. He is afraid people will look through him and notice his fears. He feels like Cyrano without a nose. It also bothers him that other people in the group are talking about his case, that his breakdown is being discussed by others. It makes him feel that his shield is being pierced by a knife. His hands feel tired and numb in the morning. When he cycles he gets cramp in his thighs. From the age of 18 he has suffered from high blood pressure, but the medicine he takes for this gives him nightmares. He dreams that everything becomes very large or very small. It wakes him up and then for a moment he doesn't know where he is. The room around him is either very huge or very small. He also dreams of a stranger or an animal lying in bed next to him. He gets the occasional head cold, his head feels stuffed up in the morning, especially on the side he has laid on, (<) dust. It is accompanied by a raspy throat. He has had problems with his vocal cords before. Once he lost his voice altogether. Sometimes he gets stitching pains and cramps in his stomach, with eructations and occasional vomiting of bile. He gets itching pain under his dentures. He comes across as a likable man who talks a lot. In fact he speaks so fast that he sometimes swallows his words. The first and last letters of every word don't get articulated at all. He looks like Toon Hermans (a Dutch comedian). He dreams about falling into a ravine. A typical dream (after Argentum nitricum 1M) was that he drove his motorbike up a mountain with someone sitting behind him. At the top he discovers that there is a sheer drop on the other side. Fortunately he discovers that he can fly. The feeling he gets in this dream is the same as the feeling when he is teaching: it all seems to be terribly heavy and difficult beforehand, but once he is doing it it turns out to be easy and light. Generals Weather: slightly cold, cold hands. Perspiration: sometimes profuse at night. Time: (<) morning (3). Desires: salt, spices, sour (2), meat, fatty meat, skins, cheese. Aversion: peanut butter (2), fat. Food: headache from spicy food. Sleep: difficulty getting asleep. Analysis The problems around teaching are quite remarkable. He feels he has to give his best, he is afraid of being a failure, that people will look through him and notice his fears. He feels like Cyrano without a nose. All these feelings are characteristic of the Silver series. The feeling of having to give a top performance indicates Stage 8, the stage of force. The ride up the mountain is another indication of the beginning stages, the run up to the top. But he has obviously gone past the very first few stages (Zirconium or Niobium) because he has been teaching for quite a while. He knows he can do it and he doesn't have to learn more (Technetium). His problem is more that he doesn't know how to keep it up, and this is typical of the Ruthenium stage. The aggravation at 11 in the morning is also a Ruthenium symptom. The hoarseness and loss of voice also belong to the Silver series, while the rapid speech and swallowing of words indicate the running up stage, once again fitting with Ruthenium. It is a sign of pressure and haste, wanting to say a lot, having to get your ideas across. Reaction After Ruthenium 1M he feels much better on the whole. His mental problems don't bother him anymore and he feels more at ease with his chosen profession. After a few weeks he starts to teach again and six months later he is in full swing again. His fears are more or less gone. He had a dream in which his friends dived off a boat and sank to the bottom of the lake. He dived in to get them up to the surface again, but he was afraid of running out of breath. However, the water proved to be clear and shallow and it was easy to bring them up. He generally finds solutions to his problems in his dreams. Case A 50 year old woman has problems with her jaws. The joints dislocate when she yawns or eats an apple. They swell up in the evening around 7 pm., especially when she plays the violin (Silver series), because of the pressure (Stage 8) of the instrument (Silver series). Her neck (Silver series) also gets stiff, (>) warm bathing and wraps. She plays in a chamber orchestra and has to practice a lot. But it isn't going very well, the daily practice is a struggle (Stage 8) and she can't face any additional practice.
Case by Anton Kramer
A man is constantly feeling tired because he is working very hard (Stage 8) for his doctorate (Silver series). He wants to become a doctor, he absolutely loves his work. But it is also very heavy (Stage 8} and he hasn't got a mentor, nor a permanent position at the institute. He has to force himself to take it easy (Stage 8), but rest doesn't ameliorate, work does (Stage 8). He gets depressed when he is ill.
He is quite vain (Silver series), likes to play the clever chap, he is introverted (2), avoids conflicts and prefers to be on his own. Socially he is not very well adjusted, he is afraid to show himself and always worries how he should present himself in public (Silver series). His shyness and uncertainty make it difficult for him to talk about himself.
Proving
By Kees Dam, Vera Kopsky, Yvonne Lassauw, Huib Wijtenburg.
Poetic and light footed. Happened to be playing some of Beethoven's music and wanted to make ballet movements and pirouettes.
Heavy feeling in head, fullness, as if in a vice, nausea with eructations, must lie down which ameliorates but makes me irritable. Want to keep my feet high.
Making slow circular movements with arms and legs, but I don't feel it, there is no weight, no body, I am not there it is as if I am a fairy.
General feeling about the remedy: alternately light footed, floating (fairy) and bumping your head against the ceiling which causes a heavy feeling in the head; nausea, causing you to lie (the force of gravity gets too much). All strength has drained from your limbs. Also a pain in the inside of the left breast, squeezing, rhythmically contracting.
Sudden bouts of laughter. I am reminded of my aunt who didn't pass her driving test until the eleventh attempt when there was no traffic on the road at all.
Later on in bed I feel as if I have got flu, weak, sick, like a wet rag, afraid that I will be knocked out by this flu tomorrow.
Dreams: lots of cats, very beautiful, they are all sitting very quietly in the window of a very exclusive shop. Some of them even have a delicate chain running from the inner corner of their eye to their ear. They are probably very expensive. Even the cheapest one costs at least a thousand pounds. They are beautiful kittens but their eyes are very sad. At the back of the shop is a section of antique books and erotic postcards. It was a very refined sort of erotic prints, something from the end of the last century. It showed a naked man lying on a sofa, the room bathed in the soft light of candles. He is covered by a delicate blanket of batiste and a woman is bending over him. She is dressed in fine lace, only her buttocks are naked. Later on everything becomes a bit eerie, something to do with incest. A dirty little man, like a thin old professor, did something he shouldn't do.
A girl who doesn't know the town (homesick, Ruthenium) wants to see some of the sights (Culture, Silver series). I show her a big imposing department store (Silver series) which sells dresses that have large houses printed on them; enormous rolls of material, very expensive (Silver series).
On the outside of my right thigh I developed five itching spots.
I also got some on my left leg later.
Today, while I was talking with a patient I suddenly saw my patients vagina (sex, Silver series), it was quite separate from her body, something which I should sing about (Silver series), or which should be painted in candle light.
During the next consultation I have a vision of my male patient lying naked on a sofa, covered with a fine batiste sheet.
A courtesan, lying on a sofa, holding a beautiful crystal glass filled with the best champagne, someone lighting a sigarillo for you, you lean forward for a minute and then sink back in the cushions, decadent, refined, but missing inner strength, the upper classes, languishing, yearning, everything is handed to you on a golden plate. But at the same time quite calculating, anything to make an impression. Exaggerated, languishing, poetic, lyrical, subtle tactics.
I am ascending, floating, I wish someone will go down on his knees for me, that someone will look up to me. Elitism, courtiers, paint glass windows, aesthetic, painting.
Image of a call girl, she has style, very beautiful but expensive, slowly building up the erotic tension during the course of the evening. The pain comes from not finding a buyer (the kittens), from being dependent on the higher aristocratic classes.
All sorts of French poets spring to mind: Guy de maupassant les jeunes filles en fleurs, Pascal, but not Balzac. I can only enjoy the music of the film The piano when I lie down. That way I can fantasise and spin a story around it; great expectations, a higher plan, all my dreams will be fulfilled without any effort; all I have to do is to be inspiring, to be beautiful, to have lots of money and to wait until someone turns up.
Slept badly for several nights. Often awake from 2.30 am to 3.30 am, making plans for the holidays.
Dream: I was looking for a plot of land at the edge of a wood, to build a house. But most of the plots had already been sold, there was only one left. I was not sure whether I would be able to get it, but I desperately hoped I would (the theme of looking for a space for myself is very much a part of my own life at the moment).
Very speedy, nervous, restless, palpitations, but I achieved a lot; painted the practice rooms, cleared up, worked out many cases. I couldn't sleep after 5-6 am, so I got up and did all these things. But I was very clumsy at times, dropping things all over the place. Looked at the moon. Was my sleeplessness caused by the full moon? Dream: I am clearing up a very dusty old house. I hadn't finished yet when I woke up. (It reminded me of a Carcinosin dream: a large tree near a house with three stories, of which the attic needed to be cleared). To my mind I was now clearing the attic of that particular house.
I woke up in a fright in the middle of the night. I looked at the fluorescent face of my alarm clock and felt that someone with bad intentions was shining his torch at me.
When I woke up in the morning I noticed that my alarm clock was facing the other way and then I suddenly remembered what had happened in the night.
During the first half hour after I woke up I felt as if I had a hangover: dizzy, light headed.
Burning feeling in my forehead, in the middle, above the eyebrows (I have some slight eczema there).
At 7 pm a terrible tickling cough (had been at the dentist in the afternoon to have a crown fitted).
Woke up feeling: I am a good doctor (or someone told me I was?).
Image: Jonah as a small child with earache.
Dream: I am at home and at the back of the house is an enormous pile of rubbish. Amongst this rubbish there are some beautiful motorbikes. I walk amongst this rubbish in my oldest clothes.
Then my landlord appears accompanied by some gentlemen in smart suits. I don't feel at all threatened because I am on my on territory (usually I would feel very uncomfortable in those circumstances), but I do go inside to straighten my clothes a little, because I feel it will put them more at ease.
I feel ill at ease, unheimish (Ruthenium), Didn't sleep well, speedy. We did a lot today: decorated my practice room, I didn't want it to be just functional, it also had to look beautiful from now on. I was much more decisive than usual.
Felt like dancing.
In the evening a terrible pain on the inside of my right knee, where I had had a meniscus operation in the past.
The next day a Ruthenium patient phoned to ask if I would read and comment on a book her husband had written: The last year in freedom.
A patient makes me say that I am the best father in the world.
Fishy smell in vagina and stinking feet.
Pain in right testicle (a few days ago it was the left one).
Dream: I was in a car with Ischa Meyer (A chat show host on T.V.) and he was in a hurry to find a house to buy. It had to be big and beautiful. He walks past several large, nice houses but he can't get near them because there are low iron railing fences with spikes blocking his way. He is frightened of stepping over them so I drive him back in his own car. Then he gets very ill and says: I have so much pain, I wont make it. There was a lot of blood coming from his anus (associated with a feeling of glass in the anus).
He had a dilemma: he had to choose some people to appear on television and he was afraid that his choice would be different from what everyone expected. This was the final blow for him (Ruthenium). When we arrived in town he got out of the car and disappeared in the crowd.
Dream: there was a big meeting (Scientology?) in a large hall. I had bought a ticket and there were two duplicates which the organisation had kept for their own files. On the day of the meeting I turned up but realised I had forgotten my ticket. I put it to them that they could either look through their files to find proof of my payment, or they could trust me and let me through. It was very crowded, masses of people going inside.
Head of personnel
Ruthenium is an unknown remedy.
Signature
The name is derived from the Latin word ruthania, which means Russia. It was discovered in 1844.
Ruthenium is very hard, durable, corrosion resistant and brittle.
It is used in nibs for fountain pens and in electrical points.
Alloyed with platina it increases the overall hardness. Just like Palladium it has a strong affinity to Hydrogen.
Concepts
Stage 8 Silver series
Perseverance Creation Inspiration
Carrying on Ideas Culture
Forcing Unique admiration
Heavy Pressure Aesthetics: Beautiful Ugly
Resistance Opposition Art Science Mysticism
Calculating Queen Ambition
Concentration Humiliation
Sexuality
Middle age
Town Province
Voice hearing
Mysticism Priest
Group analysis
Forcing yourself to present your ideas.
Forcing your ideas on others: convincing.
Forcing works of art.
Writing a blockbuster.
A persuasive spokesman.
A forceful spokesman, teacher.
Having to achieve as an artist.
The mediator who is under pressure: the head of the personnel department.
The pressure of a promotion.
The pressure of a creation.
Art is a struggle.
Opposition against creations.
Planning a work of art.
Failure through forcing the creative flow.
A minister who is being opposed.
A heavy religious task.
Forced sex.
A persevering sportsman, -woman.
Picture of Ruthenium metallicum
Essence: forcing yourself to present your ideas.
Forcing yourself to present your ideas
They feel that they have to force themselves to present their ideas. It is a heavy task and there is much work to be done. They feel the pressure, but they have to carry on to get the job done.
A daily struggle to master a piece of music. A tremendous effort to write their book. A heavy task to get their Ph. D. research project under way. But somehow they find the strength to persevere, they are very independent and resolute in their ways.
Forcing your ideas onto others: convincing They are terribly enthusiastic about their profession, whether it is art or science or politics or spirituality. They exude an air of knowing how to do things, all they have to do is convince others. They like to convince others that thy are right, that their ideas should be accepted. They are not to be deterred by objections or irrelevant details.
In Holland we have a comedian who perfectly fits this picture. He carries on with his act with a dead pan face while the whole audience is collapsing with laughter.
Opposition against creations
They experience their inspiration as a form of pressure, something which can only be realised by a lot of hard work. The pressure is in the creative process itself, but they tend to experience their surroundings as an opposing force as well. The pressure they have created inside themselves gets projected onto others who are felt to be uncooperative. Other people are jealous and hinder their artistic talents. Other people hamper their creative work. The little tasks of every day life get in the way, they act as a brake instead of a point of focus. They want to have plenty of time, space and money to concentrate on their creations without being interrupted.
They tend to get very angry when things don't go according to plan. Adverse comments drive them mad, they can't bear criticism because it feels like opposition and they need all the strength they have got to persevere with their project.
Planning a work of art
In order to be able to cope with the large amounts of work they like to plan their days ahead. Learning the lines of a play requires endless repetition.
But inspiration can't be planned and the schedules they have constructed often don't work out, so they are always busy drawing up a new plan.
Failure through forcing their creations
When their plans don't work out they collapse into a worn out and apathetic state. They have forced themselves too much, not taking enough rest and finally breaking down under the pressure. The smallest task now seems like an impossible ordeal, the most minor detail a tremendous source of irritation. They are a failure and they no longer have the courage to appear in public. Every form of company is too much for them and they withdraw into themselves.
A persevering sportsman, - woman
This is the top sportsman who has to train hard to get to the top. The extreme training schedule may break him up eventually, before he can reach his goal.
Expressions
Fears: heights, narrow spaces, planes, teaching, performances, speeches.
Dreams: heights, falling, deformed babies because of a forced delivery, light.
Irritability: (<) humiliation. Mood: stubborn, independent, haughty, crying. Speech: halting, stuttering. Hobbies: art, music, poetry, philosophy. Needs: clearing up, restoring things, undertaking a task, refined erotic. Professions: artist, painter, writer, musician, teacher, scientist, doctor, priest, vicar, bishop, shaman, governor, secretary, representative, public relations officer, advertising agent, top sportsman or woman, personnel manager. Causes: disaster, humiliation. Generals Locality: left. Weather: cold, cold feet, (<) cold (2), (<) damp (2), (>) outside.
Time: (<) 11 am; (<) September. Desires: meat, fatty meat, gravy, sweet, shrimps, alcohol, raw food, chocolate, smoking. Aversion: spices. Food: (<) spices. Menses: profuse. Sleep: sleepy. Physical: (<) pressure, (>) working.
Complaints
Cancer.
Weakness. Bruised pains, itching.
Headache in forehead, temples and vertex.
Eye problems, disturbance in vision.
Ear ache with swollen glands in front of and behind ears. Feeling as if mandibular joints are affected, dislocation, left, (<) pressure. Colds with watery coryza. Sore throats. Voice problems, hoarseness, loss of voice, stammering. Lung problems: pressure on lungs, always aware of lungs; bronchitis, cough (<) after waking. Hyperventilation. Problems of genitalia, testes, ovaries. Cancer of prostate, cancer of testes or ovaries. Retention of urine. Neck problems, Whiplash (being hit, Stage 8, in the neck, Silver series), (<) turning head. Arm problems, stiffness. Arthritis of distal joints of fingers. Mandibular joint painful, gets dislocated (<)(<) yawning, eating. Sciatica. Feeling as if foot turn down, torn ligament in front ankle. DD: Silver series, Stage 8. DD Technetium: has more space to practice, can play about with his creations, can handle criticism. Ruthenium has the feeling he has to create, he is under great pressure to perform, there is no time for other pursuits and criticism is felt as opposition to his plans which makes him very angry. Case A 48 year old man suffers from hyperventilation. He feels afraid wherever he goes, in tunnels, in cars, traffic jams, planes, shops and particularly when he is teaching. It feels as if the sky is falling down on top of him. The fears are accompanied by pain in his chest, cramp in his heart and shocks throughout his body. His hands and feet turn cold and he gasps for breath, his oesophagus feels as if it shoots to his back. He feels he will faint when he hears about accidents or when he sees blood. He feels as if he is floating, as if the tables and chairs are moving. It started 14 years ago when he collapsed one day when he was teaching and he thought I am going to die. It feels as if his heart will pack up. The worst of it is that something is happening in his body that he can't control, that his body seems to rule him, instead of the other way around. He also has fear of heights, a fear that the building will collapse or that he will get another attack. He teaches first aid. It is a great hobby of his and he is very good at it. But he can't handle it anymore at the moment so he has given up teaching. It all got too much for him, he felt he had to give his best performance at all times. He felt afraid that he would suddenly forget what to say and that people would think him a failure. He is afraid people will look through him and notice his fears. He feels like Cyrano without a nose. It also bothers him that other people in the group are talking about his case, that his breakdown is being discussed by others. It makes him feel that his shield is being pierced by a knife. His hands feel tired and numb in the morning. When he cycles he gets cramp in his thighs. From the age of 18 he has suffered from high blood pressure, but the medicine he takes for this gives him nightmares. He dreams that everything becomes very large or very small. It wakes him up and then for a moment he doesn't know where he is. The room around him is either very huge or very small. He also dreams of a stranger or an animal lying in bed next to him. He gets the occasional head cold, his head feels stuffed up in the morning, especially on the side he has laid on, (<) dust. It is accompanied by a raspy throat. He has had problems with his vocal cords before. Once he lost his voice altogether. Sometimes he gets stitching pains and cramps in his stomach, with eructations and occasional vomiting of bile. He gets itching pain under his dentures. He comes across as a likable man who talks a lot. In fact he speaks so fast that he sometimes swallows his words. The first and last letters of every word don't get articulated at all. He looks like Toon Hermans (a Dutch comedian). He dreams about falling into a ravine. A typical dream (after Argentum nitricum 1M) was that he drove his motorbike up a mountain with someone sitting behind him. At the top he discovers that there is a sheer drop on the other side. Fortunately he discovers that he can fly. The feeling he gets in this dream is the same as the feeling when he is teaching: it all seems to be terribly heavy and difficult beforehand, but once he is doing it it turns out to be easy and light. Generals Weather: slightly cold, cold hands. Perspiration: sometimes profuse at night. Time: (<) morning (3). Desires: salt, spices, sour (2), meat, fatty meat, skins, cheese. Aversion: peanut butter (2), fat. Food: headache from spicy food. Sleep: difficulty getting asleep. Analysis The problems around teaching are quite remarkable. He feels he has to give his best, he is afraid of being a failure, that people will look through him and notice his fears. He feels like Cyrano without a nose. All these feelings are characteristic of the Silver series. The feeling of having to give a top performance indicates Stage 8, the stage of force. The ride up the mountain is another indication of the beginning stages, the run up to the top. But he has obviously gone past the very first few stages (Zirconium or Niobium) because he has been teaching for quite a while. He knows he can do it and he doesn't have to learn more (Technetium). His problem is more that he doesn't know how to keep it up, and this is typical of the Ruthenium stage. The aggravation at 11 in the morning is also a Ruthenium symptom. The hoarseness and loss of voice also belong to the Silver series, while the rapid speech and swallowing of words indicate the running up stage, once again fitting with Ruthenium. It is a sign of pressure and haste, wanting to say a lot, having to get your ideas across. Reaction After Ruthenium 1M he feels much better on the whole. His mental problems don't bother him anymore and he feels more at ease with his chosen profession. After a few weeks he starts to teach again and six months later he is in full swing again. His fears are more or less gone. He had a dream in which his friends dived off a boat and sank to the bottom of the lake. He dived in to get them up to the surface again, but he was afraid of running out of breath. However, the water proved to be clear and shallow and it was easy to bring them up. He generally finds solutions to his problems in his dreams. Case A 50 year old woman has problems with her jaws. The joints dislocate when she yawns or eats an apple. They swell up in the evening around 7 pm., especially when she plays the violin (Silver series), because of the pressure (Stage 8) of the instrument (Silver series). Her neck (Silver series) also gets stiff, (>) warm bathing and wraps. She plays in a chamber orchestra and has to practice a lot. But it isn't going very well, the daily practice is a struggle (Stage 8) and she can't face any additional practice.
Case by Anton Kramer
A man is constantly feeling tired because he is working very hard (Stage 8) for his doctorate (Silver series). He wants to become a doctor, he absolutely loves his work. But it is also very heavy (Stage 8} and he hasn't got a mentor, nor a permanent position at the institute. He has to force himself to take it easy (Stage 8), but rest doesn't ameliorate, work does (Stage 8). He gets depressed when he is ill.
He is quite vain (Silver series), likes to play the clever chap, he is introverted (2), avoids conflicts and prefers to be on his own. Socially he is not very well adjusted, he is afraid to show himself and always worries how he should present himself in public (Silver series). His shyness and uncertainty make it difficult for him to talk about himself.
Proving
By Kees Dam, Vera Kopsky, Yvonne Lassauw, Huib Wijtenburg.
Poetic and light footed. Happened to be playing some of Beethoven's music and wanted to make ballet movements and pirouettes.
Heavy feeling in head, fullness, as if in a vice, nausea with eructations, must lie down which ameliorates but makes me irritable. Want to keep my feet high.
Making slow circular movements with arms and legs, but I don't feel it, there is no weight, no body, I am not there it is as if I am a fairy.
General feeling about the remedy: alternately light footed, floating (fairy) and bumping your head against the ceiling which causes a heavy feeling in the head; nausea, causing you to lie (the force of gravity gets too much). All strength has drained from your limbs. Also a pain in the inside of the left breast, squeezing, rhythmically contracting.
Sudden bouts of laughter. I am reminded of my aunt who didn't pass her driving test until the eleventh attempt when there was no traffic on the road at all.
Later on in bed I feel as if I have got flu, weak, sick, like a wet rag, afraid that I will be knocked out by this flu tomorrow.
Dreams: lots of cats, very beautiful, they are all sitting very quietly in the window of a very exclusive shop. Some of them even have a delicate chain running from the inner corner of their eye to their ear. They are probably very expensive. Even the cheapest one costs at least a thousand pounds. They are beautiful kittens but their eyes are very sad. At the back of the shop is a section of antique books and erotic postcards. It was a very refined sort of erotic prints, something from the end of the last century. It showed a naked man lying on a sofa, the room bathed in the soft light of candles. He is covered by a delicate blanket of batiste and a woman is bending over him. She is dressed in fine lace, only her buttocks are naked. Later on everything becomes a bit eerie, something to do with incest. A dirty little man, like a thin old professor, did something he shouldn't do.
A girl who doesn't know the town (homesick, Ruthenium) wants to see some of the sights (Culture, Silver series). I show her a big imposing department store (Silver series) which sells dresses that have large houses printed on them; enormous rolls of material, very expensive (Silver series).
On the outside of my right thigh I developed five itching spots.
I also got some on my left leg later.
Today, while I was talking with a patient I suddenly saw my patients vagina (sex, Silver series), it was quite separate from her body, something which I should sing about (Silver series), or which should be painted in candle light.
During the next consultation I have a vision of my male patient lying naked on a sofa, covered with a fine batiste sheet.
A courtesan, lying on a sofa, holding a beautiful crystal glass filled with the best champagne, someone lighting a sigarillo for you, you lean forward for a minute and then sink back in the cushions, decadent, refined, but missing inner strength, the upper classes, languishing, yearning, everything is handed to you on a golden plate. But at the same time quite calculating, anything to make an impression. Exaggerated, languishing, poetic, lyrical, subtle tactics.
I am ascending, floating, I wish someone will go down on his knees for me, that someone will look up to me. Elitism, courtiers, paint glass windows, aesthetic, painting.
Image of a call girl, she has style, very beautiful but expensive, slowly building up the erotic tension during the course of the evening. The pain comes from not finding a buyer (the kittens), from being dependent on the higher aristocratic classes.
All sorts of French poets spring to mind: Guy de maupassant les jeunes filles en fleurs, Pascal, but not Balzac. I can only enjoy the music of the film The piano when I lie down. That way I can fantasise and spin a story around it; great expectations, a higher plan, all my dreams will be fulfilled without any effort; all I have to do is to be inspiring, to be beautiful, to have lots of money and to wait until someone turns up.
Slept badly for several nights. Often awake from 2.30 am to 3.30 am, making plans for the holidays.
Dream: I was looking for a plot of land at the edge of a wood, to build a house. But most of the plots had already been sold, there was only one left. I was not sure whether I would be able to get it, but I desperately hoped I would (the theme of looking for a space for myself is very much a part of my own life at the moment).
Very speedy, nervous, restless, palpitations, but I achieved a lot; painted the practice rooms, cleared up, worked out many cases. I couldn't sleep after 5-6 am, so I got up and did all these things. But I was very clumsy at times, dropping things all over the place. Looked at the moon. Was my sleeplessness caused by the full moon? Dream: I am clearing up a very dusty old house. I hadn't finished yet when I woke up. (It reminded me of a Carcinosin dream: a large tree near a house with three stories, of which the attic needed to be cleared). To my mind I was now clearing the attic of that particular house.
I woke up in a fright in the middle of the night. I looked at the fluorescent face of my alarm clock and felt that someone with bad intentions was shining his torch at me.
When I woke up in the morning I noticed that my alarm clock was facing the other way and then I suddenly remembered what had happened in the night.
During the first half hour after I woke up I felt as if I had a hangover: dizzy, light headed.
Burning feeling in my forehead, in the middle, above the eyebrows (I have some slight eczema there).
At 7 pm a terrible tickling cough (had been at the dentist in the afternoon to have a crown fitted).
Woke up feeling: I am a good doctor (or someone told me I was?).
Image: Jonah as a small child with earache.
Dream: I am at home and at the back of the house is an enormous pile of rubbish. Amongst this rubbish there are some beautiful motorbikes. I walk amongst this rubbish in my oldest clothes.
Then my landlord appears accompanied by some gentlemen in smart suits. I don't feel at all threatened because I am on my on territory (usually I would feel very uncomfortable in those circumstances), but I do go inside to straighten my clothes a little, because I feel it will put them more at ease.
I feel ill at ease, unheimish (Ruthenium), Didn't sleep well, speedy. We did a lot today: decorated my practice room, I didn't want it to be just functional, it also had to look beautiful from now on. I was much more decisive than usual.
Felt like dancing.
In the evening a terrible pain on the inside of my right knee, where I had had a meniscus operation in the past.
The next day a Ruthenium patient phoned to ask if I would read and comment on a book her husband had written: The last year in freedom.
A patient makes me say that I am the best father in the world.
Fishy smell in vagina and stinking feet.
Pain in right testicle (a few days ago it was the left one).
Dream: I was in a car with Ischa Meyer (A chat show host on T.V.) and he was in a hurry to find a house to buy. It had to be big and beautiful. He walks past several large, nice houses but he can't get near them because there are low iron railing fences with spikes blocking his way. He is frightened of stepping over them so I drive him back in his own car. Then he gets very ill and says: I have so much pain, I wont make it. There was a lot of blood coming from his anus (associated with a feeling of glass in the anus).
He had a dilemma: he had to choose some people to appear on television and he was afraid that his choice would be different from what everyone expected. This was the final blow for him (Ruthenium). When we arrived in town he got out of the car and disappeared in the crowd.
Dream: there was a big meeting (Scientology?) in a large hall. I had bought a ticket and there were two duplicates which the organisation had kept for their own files. On the day of the meeting I turned up but realised I had forgotten my ticket. I put it to them that they could either look through their files to find proof of my payment, or they could trust me and let me through. It was very crowded, masses of people going inside.
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