Beryllium [Beryl]:
- Jan Scholten
Beryllium is known to cause a disease picture that is almost identical to sarcoidosis (also called Besnier-Boeck disease). Julian (1979, 1981) has described a proving of Beryllium.
Signature
The name Beryllium is derived from beryl, a precious stone that contains beryllium. This stone was probably named after the town Berul, a place north of Moslur in Iraq, where it can be found.
Another possibility is that its name was derived from the Greek word berullos, which means emerald. The element beryllium was first discovered in 1798.
The beryl is a transparent or whitish stone. Its chemical composition is Be3 Al2 Si6 O18. There are several different varieties of this stone: emerald, with its green colouring due to the presence of Chromium, aquamarine, pink morganite containing Caesium and Lithium, gold beryl, heliodore, gosheite, bixbite and bazzite with its blue colour due to the element Scandium. Beryllium is also found in stones like Tugtupite, bavenite, ilarite, bertrandite, helveine, euclase, chrysoberyl and fenacite. Beryl was used in the past to make glasses. The Dutch name for spectacles is bril.
Beryllium salts taste sweet, hence its other name glucinum.
It is stronger than steel and doesn't rust very quickly.
It is very elastic and has been used to manufacture springs (yielding, adapting, Stage 2). Its melting point is very high, 1285 degrees.
Concepts
Stage 2 Carbon series
Observing Individual Person I
Appreciating Meaning Value Self-worth
Criticising Ethics: Good and Bad
Shy Uncertain Body Life Lust
Entering Taking ones place Possessions
Joining Hero
Yielding Adapting I-weakness
Passive observing Magic Myths
Protecting Shielding Child
Excluded
Group Analysis
Someone who is uncertain.
Dare not take their place.
Unsure about their self-worth.
Unsure about their values.
Powerless to establish their values.
A yielding type of person.
Adapting brings self-worth.
Feeling observed and criticised.
Criticised for his liveliness.
Self criticism.
Self protection: being unobtrusive.
A passive hero.
An adapting borderline case: chameleon.
A powerless child.
Yielding with regard to possessions.
Excluded from life.
Picture of Beryllium metallicum
Essence: An uncertain and yielding type of person.
An uncertain kind of person
They are timid and uncertain about themselves, as if they are not allowed to be who they are.
They feel weak, helpless and inferior. They don't know who they are and frequently ask themselves Who am I? Am I being myself? They feel very vulnerable and are prone to panic attacks, like I can't do this ! It feels unnatural for them to be themselves, their style is cramped and they don't know how to act.
They have the same sort of difficulties when they have to make decisions: Do I know what I really want ? Is this what I want?
Dare not take their place They have difficulty defining their own space too. The would rather evade a problem than face it. They feel they will be punished or criticised if they take a stand on anything. They even have problems walking up to someone to greet them or give them a hug.
Their indecision stems from their fear of offending other people.
Taking responsibility might mean making mistakes and this they don't dare. So they prefer to leave all the decisions to the experts. They need a father figure or a mentor, someone who wants to work with them and who can help them.
Uncertain about their self-worth
They usually feel inferior to other people, which is what makes them so uncertain. They think they are not up to the desired standards. Not only do they feel weak, they often feel they are also bad, especially if people ignore them and don't take them into account.
Uncertain about values
They also feel uncertain about values in life. They haven't developed their own set of values yet. They take a look around and pick up a bit here and a bit there, but all these bits remain unintegrated and don't form a whole.
Powerless to stand up for his own values
So it becomes very difficult to stand up for their own values.
Partly because they haven't got any that they feel sure of, and partly because they find it difficult to stick up for what little they have worked out for themselves. They are afraid of stepping out of line, as they think that their parents or other authorities know much better what is good and what is bad.
Feeling observed and criticised
They quickly have the feeling that everyone is looking at them and this often grows into feeling criticised. The most innocent remarks are taken as criticism and they feel nobody understands them and therefore nobody likes them. They keep fretting over remarks made days ago. Their own desires and their own life don't get a chance to mature because they spend so much time worrying over what others said about them. Every burst of enthusiasm is quickly stifled by minor criticism, every instinctive impulse to enjoy life gets squashed by their fear of their parents or other authority figures.
Real criticism is even harder to bear, and they simply don't want to hear it. They start to defend themselves before they let it sink in what the other person is really saying. They make apologies before they have even heard half of what is being said to them. They answer as soon as someone starts to speak to them and they keep talking to avoid listening.
They are also afraid to give criticism because what you give you might also receive.
A passive and yielding type of person
To summarise their personality you could say that their strong point is the ability to go along with whatever somebody else says, to yield to other peoples wishes and to adapt to whatever the authorities decide. Anything rather than saying no. So they are easy going: they'll go to great lengths to show their willingness, especially when they are being appreciated. As a therapist they'll be masters at going with the flow and adapting to the other persons initiative.
Their ability to adapt also gives them the right to exist.
Through adapting themselves to the wishes of others and carrying out these wishes they make themselves indispensable. So their self-worth is derived from going along with the expectations of other people.
This means that they have very little idea what they need for themselves. They are inclined to say that they are happy to go along, it is all right as far as they are concerned. But deep down this isn't true, deep down there is a feeling of apathy or depression. They don't develop their own personality, because then they wouldn't be able to adapt anymore and consequently they would lose their sense of self-worth which is based on helping other people in whatever way they desire.
Self protection by being unobtrusive
They may be ashamed of themselves and want to hide themselves and all the mistakes they think they are making. The best way to hide is to be unobtrusive, to stay in the background. So they come across as very subdued and unassuming type of people.
Self criticism Their sense of self-worth is low and they criticise themselves all the time. Even though they are sensitive to criticism from others, they are even more harsh on themselves. They spend so much time and energy by constantly looking at how they are doing something and why they are doing it, that it paralyses all their actions. They might instinctively start to do something and then they suddenly realise Oh, I am doing something, and then their evaluation process comes into action and all other activities grind to a halt.
Excluded from life
Because they don't dare to lead their own life everything becomes unreal to them. It is as if they are standing on the outside. Life seems grey and meaningless. They have run away from reality to lead their own life as much as they can. They avoid contact with others out of fear of being rejected. Although their first seating with someone usually goes quite well, it is at the second meeting that the brakes start to be applied and things come to a standstill.
A passive hero The hero is present in his passive phase. The hero doesn't have the courage to take on his task, he is too afraid that he will not be able to fulfil this task, it is too big for him. But at the same he is also afraid of his own powers. He senses that deep down there is an enormous vitality and power waiting to be released, but it feels too unreal and frightening to let go. He is afraid of all that freedom.
Magic
This state can be accompanied by a sense of magic, or perhaps superstition: If I don't adapt to every circumstance, the world will come to an unhappy end. This delusion gives them a sense of power and self-worth: If I don't help her she will commit suicide. This type of magic thinking might even take the form of obsessive rituals, like only stepping on the white tiles on the floor, or only taking a certain route in the street.
An adaptive borderline: chameleon.
In an extreme situation this sort of behaviour develops into a psychiatric problem. The person becomes a chameleon, an as if personality. They are so extreme in their adaptation that nobody can see who they really are anymore.
A powerless child: helpless
They look powerless and helpless. They also feel powerless and this makes them very passive in their behaviour. They feel small and they dream that they are a little child again. There is also a feeling of having to be a sweet little child, otherwise they will be punished. They are usually not well developed sexually either. They imagine they are not attractive because their breasts or their genitalia aren't well developed. They don't feel very masculine or feminine either, they only feel that they are the little child. But this helplessness also serves a purpose because it brings out the protective feeling in others and so they hope that someone will support them and do all the work for them.
Expressions
Fear: vague (2!), unknown (!), life, strangers, future, travelling, flying, crowds, streets, failure, disease, operations, cancer, death.
Mood: timid, uncertain, indecisive, loud laughter, (>) support, listless, meaningless, gloomy, suicidal.
Mental: confused, slow, orientation problems, lack of concentration, forgetful, dementia.
Religious: magic, obsessive.
Causes: neglect, abuse, incest, parents absent, addicted or weak, loss of parents and protectors.
Generals
Build: thin.
Locality: left.
Weather: (<) cold, (<) too hot, warm blooded, (>) sun; (>) storm, thunder and lightning,; (>) fresh air, sea.
Perspiration: sometimes at night in bed, under arms.
Time: (<) 3 pm. (>) evening.
Desires: sour (3), salt (2), meat (2), hard and soft boiled eggs (2), lettuce, bacon, beer, drinking (2), eating, alcohol, drugs.
Aversion: ginger, sweet.
Food: (<) coffee, pancakes, milk. Menses: infrequent; tired (<) during menses. Sleep: bad. Physical: (<) exertion. Complaints Bent back as if carrying a burden, stooped head and shoulders, walk on their ones; desire to cross legs (!) either at the knees or at the ankles. Tired, lack of energy. Dryness of skin and mucus membranes. Lymph glands swollen in neck, axilla and groin. Benign tumours and swellings. Headaches, jaws stiff and painful. Retarded growth, arrested development, small breasts. Dry and blocked nose, (<) morning, (<) milk, (<) central heating and dry air, (>) outside. Nosebleeds, old blood from back of nose.
Problems with oesophagus. Thyroid, goitre, parathyroid.
Lung affection: sarcoidosis, cancer.
Cardiovascular diseases, infarct. Abdominal aorta abnormalities.
Pain around heart, constriction, feeling there is not enough room for the heart.
Stomach feels empty, (>)(>) eating and drinking. Vomiting, (<) pancakes and doughnuts. Abdominal pains, as if bloated, as if the food is not moving, pressing against diaphragm. Prostate problems. Sterility. Kidney infections with oedema (<)(<)(<)throat infections. Pain in shoulders and neck, radiating to thumb, mainly on the right. Bone problems, atrophy, too supple. Pains in muscles. Itching in back, lumbar region, and on sides. Feeling of insects crawling on medial side of calves, under knees. Skin granuloma. DD: Carbon series, Stage 2, Aceticums, Muriaticums. DD: Silicium series, Natrum to Chlorum, doesn't feel good about himself either, but more unloved by family or friends. DD: sulphur, also has problems with stooped shoulders and doesn't feel accepted. But Sulphur feels more disgraced. With Beryllium it is more a feeling inside himself, than a feeling of having fallen from grace. DD yielding: Carcinosin, Lac caninum, other Lacs, Pulsatilla, Silica, Thuja. Case A 40 year old woman complains of tiredness, always tired and listless, always behind with everything. During the day she feels very gloomy, in the evening she starts to cheer up a bit. But if she goes to bed late she feels bad again the next morning. During a routine test a few years ago it was discovered that the bilirubin level of her blood was quite high. The tiredness is linked to a strong feeling of inferiority. She is a shy type and doesn't express herself very easily. She feels she isn't good enough, that she has no sex appeal because her breasts are too small. She feels she doesn't not live up to general standards. She also feels she isn't a good mother. She seems rather a grey sort of person, someone who always stays in the background. She hates criticism: even if a shop attendant looks a bit surly she thinks this is meant for her and gets upset. The first thing she says when I ask her to describe her character is: I want to know what is expected of me so I can follow that. She is afraid of criticising or hurting others. She would rather adapt to the circumstances; doing what others ask of her makes her feel needed. She hates making decisions, and would rather leave this to others. She would like to have a father-figure, a mentor whom she could rely on to guide her into what to do. She thinks that people whom she likes will feel rejected if she makes her own choices. She is afraid of bothering other people too much, of appearing too needy. It feels unnatural for her to stick up for herself. She is always busy following the rules. For instance, shell ride her bike following one particular row of tiles on the road. She is ashamed of herself and wants to hide from view, afraid of being seen and afraid of freedom; afraid of responsibility, afraid to make mistakes and not being able to hide. She walks stooped-shouldered, as if she is carrying a burden on her back. But this burden also serves as protection: at least she can't make contact with the universe when she walks like that. She feels as if all her emotions have to be squeezed out through a very narrow opening in a bottle and when they come out they are all distorted and chaotic. She goes to psychotherapy sessions, but she feels equally awkward there too. She feels as if she should let something happen but she doesn't know what, so she sits there all cramped, not knowing what to do. She likes to keep people at a distance for fear of being rejected, feeling they probably wont like her anyway. As a child she used to stand outside the circle of children playing: Nobody wants to play with me anyway! She feels it is obvious that nobody wanted to play with her then, as she was such an insignificant little creature! She did have one girl friend, but only because her mother had forced her to. She loves arrogant and good looking men. Her own marriage isn't all that happy: she doesn't have much sexual desire. She comes from a very strict religious family. Her father was distant and cold; he was afraid of spoiling his children. He was so hard that she thought she must be very bad otherwise he wouldn't be so cruel to her.He also taunted his children, to get them hardened to the world. He used to beat them, even with a stick, when they did something wrong, and when she was a teenager he once refused to speak to her for 3 weeks as a punishment for something or other. Every show of enthusiasm was immediately squashed at home. Her father got angry if she did something for him and in her enthusiasm made some small mistake. She was afraid of her father and always on her guard not to do anything wrong. She felt rejected and her eyes still fill with tears when she reads about Daddys little girl. She feels I have to be the sweet little girl, otherwise I will be punished. Her mother was rather weak: she became manic depressive when she was 48; she just couldn't stand up to her husband. Her parents often had rows, and not such little ones either. She used to hold her breath, praying that it would be over soon. Her mother used to keep the children small, afraid that she would lose control if she let them grow up. She was, deep down, very unsure of herself but presented herself as someone who knew and could handle everything. But her mother used to lean on her and used to confide in her what she thought of her husband. This left her no room to develop her own personality. She loves reading; it is a way of escape for her. When she was little she moved heaven and earth to be allowed to join a library. She had a very significant dream: I was walking around carrying a very heavy man on my back. Then a knight came along and threw a orange or pink pick-axe at this man and killed him. I felt very afraid and guilty and started to defend myself, because it had been my task to look after this man and now he was dead. But although I felt very guilty, I was also very relieved to be rid of him, because he had been a great burden. But I would never have dared to throw him off myself. I was very grateful to the knight for doing this dirty work or me. But I also realised that this burden had been a sort of protection for me, for at least I did have to show my face to the world while I was stooping. It was strange to be standing upright again, frightening and nice at the same time. I was defending myself by pointing out the colourful attire of the attacker, as it was these colours that had misled me into thinking he was O.K. If he hadn't been wearing these colours I would have quickly taken another path, so he wouldn't have seen us, so it wasn't my fault that all this had happened!There are some other complaints that she suffers from: pain in the jaws and pain in the shoulders and neck, radiating to her thumb, especially the right one. Her glands under her arms and in her neck and groins are always swollen, sometimes even painfully swollen. She has small breasts. When she drinks milk her nose blocks up. Coffee makes her tremble and pancakes make her vomit. When she was a baby she was in hospital for three weeks because she wasn't thriving. When she was 3 she had a kidney infection with oedema after a throat infection following scarlet fever. She has a lazy left eye with strabismus, which was corrected by surgery. When she was 27 she broke the relationship with her boyfriend because he didn't appreciate her looks, but she kept thinking about what this relationship had meant to her. It made her feel even more gloomy and indifferent for a while. Generals Weather: warm, (>) sun; (>) thunder and lightening; (>) fresh air, sea.
Perspiration: sometimes at night in bed, under arms.
Time: (<) 1 and 3 pm.
Desires: sour (3), salt (2), bacon, meat (2), hard- and soft boiled eggs (2), lettuce.
Aversion: sauerkraut, pancakes.
Food: (<) coffee, pancakes, milk.
Menses: infrequent; tired (<) during menses.
Sleep: poor.
Analysis
The uncertainty and the fears are the most striking symptoms. She doesn't dare to stand up for herself, she is very indecisive. She wants support from a strong father figure. She feels she is a bad person. This all points to the Carbon series.
Her answer to my question to describe her character really says it all: I want to know what is expected of me so I can make sure I follow those directions. This adaptation to the wishes of other people and this passive behaviour point to stage 2, and so we end up with Beryllium.
Her dream is also most significant: I was carrying a heavy man on my back and a youth threw his orange or pink pick-axe at him and the man died. I felt afraid and guilty and started to defend myself, but I loved the colour of the pick-axe. Here we see the trait of toiling for someone else: she is carrying someone else on her back. The youth is the hero who quickly solves the problem for her. The orange/pink pick-axe has obvious sexual undertones.
Reaction
After Beryllium metallicum 1M her fears disappeared within a short time. She started to stick up for herself at work. She gained some important insights. It became clear to her that she was afraid of her own power, and that she had needed to keep her own strength down, because her mother wanted to keep the children small. It also became clear that she herself was being the same overprotective mother towards her eldest child. She also understood the energies of passivity and adaptability. Because of her helplessness she was able to mobilise the help of other people. Her adaptability had allowed her to exist: Because you are saving the other person, you are allowed to be. She also discovered a certain power in the attitude If I don't help her she will commit suicide. Other remedies that helped her before were Magnesium muriaticum and Niccolum sulphuricum.
Case by Rienk Stuut A woman suffers from panic attacks (Carbon series), even from minor incidents. She is always stressed and she never stops running. She takes another woman (who she thinks is a better person) as an example for her to follow and then shell act as if she is this other woman (Chameleon: Beryllium). She easily loses her self confidence (Carbon series), and thinks she is too fat.
Her father always criticised her so she used to adapt her behaviour (Stage 2) until he was happy. In her present relationship with her boyfriend she is still using this adaptive behaviour, because she wants him to support her (Carbon series).
She constantly asks for approval. After Beryllium she suddenly feels as if she is really somebody (Carbon series). She stays with her own feelings and she even dares to confront her boyfriend at times.
Case by Willem Woutman This is about a man who has a nervous breakdown. He has been at home for the past 9 months. He feels he is a failure and he sits and broods on the sofa for days (passive, Stage 2). He feels he has lost his way in life (Carbon series). He suffers from panic attacks (Carbon series) and he has lost faith in other people. He used to allow his boss to lead the way for him (Stage 2).He can't decide (Stage 2 and 3) about the sale of his house and his mother takes all decisions on his behalf. After Beryllium he sells the house himself and is able to start work again.
Beryllium is known to cause a disease picture that is almost identical to sarcoidosis (also called Besnier-Boeck disease). Julian (1979, 1981) has described a proving of Beryllium.
Signature
The name Beryllium is derived from beryl, a precious stone that contains beryllium. This stone was probably named after the town Berul, a place north of Moslur in Iraq, where it can be found.
Another possibility is that its name was derived from the Greek word berullos, which means emerald. The element beryllium was first discovered in 1798.
The beryl is a transparent or whitish stone. Its chemical composition is Be3 Al2 Si6 O18. There are several different varieties of this stone: emerald, with its green colouring due to the presence of Chromium, aquamarine, pink morganite containing Caesium and Lithium, gold beryl, heliodore, gosheite, bixbite and bazzite with its blue colour due to the element Scandium. Beryllium is also found in stones like Tugtupite, bavenite, ilarite, bertrandite, helveine, euclase, chrysoberyl and fenacite. Beryl was used in the past to make glasses. The Dutch name for spectacles is bril.
Beryllium salts taste sweet, hence its other name glucinum.
It is stronger than steel and doesn't rust very quickly.
It is very elastic and has been used to manufacture springs (yielding, adapting, Stage 2). Its melting point is very high, 1285 degrees.
Concepts
Stage 2 Carbon series
Observing Individual Person I
Appreciating Meaning Value Self-worth
Criticising Ethics: Good and Bad
Shy Uncertain Body Life Lust
Entering Taking ones place Possessions
Joining Hero
Yielding Adapting I-weakness
Passive observing Magic Myths
Protecting Shielding Child
Excluded
Group Analysis
Someone who is uncertain.
Dare not take their place.
Unsure about their self-worth.
Unsure about their values.
Powerless to establish their values.
A yielding type of person.
Adapting brings self-worth.
Feeling observed and criticised.
Criticised for his liveliness.
Self criticism.
Self protection: being unobtrusive.
A passive hero.
An adapting borderline case: chameleon.
A powerless child.
Yielding with regard to possessions.
Excluded from life.
Picture of Beryllium metallicum
Essence: An uncertain and yielding type of person.
An uncertain kind of person
They are timid and uncertain about themselves, as if they are not allowed to be who they are.
They feel weak, helpless and inferior. They don't know who they are and frequently ask themselves Who am I? Am I being myself? They feel very vulnerable and are prone to panic attacks, like I can't do this ! It feels unnatural for them to be themselves, their style is cramped and they don't know how to act.
They have the same sort of difficulties when they have to make decisions: Do I know what I really want ? Is this what I want?
Dare not take their place They have difficulty defining their own space too. The would rather evade a problem than face it. They feel they will be punished or criticised if they take a stand on anything. They even have problems walking up to someone to greet them or give them a hug.
Their indecision stems from their fear of offending other people.
Taking responsibility might mean making mistakes and this they don't dare. So they prefer to leave all the decisions to the experts. They need a father figure or a mentor, someone who wants to work with them and who can help them.
Uncertain about their self-worth
They usually feel inferior to other people, which is what makes them so uncertain. They think they are not up to the desired standards. Not only do they feel weak, they often feel they are also bad, especially if people ignore them and don't take them into account.
Uncertain about values
They also feel uncertain about values in life. They haven't developed their own set of values yet. They take a look around and pick up a bit here and a bit there, but all these bits remain unintegrated and don't form a whole.
Powerless to stand up for his own values
So it becomes very difficult to stand up for their own values.
Partly because they haven't got any that they feel sure of, and partly because they find it difficult to stick up for what little they have worked out for themselves. They are afraid of stepping out of line, as they think that their parents or other authorities know much better what is good and what is bad.
Feeling observed and criticised
They quickly have the feeling that everyone is looking at them and this often grows into feeling criticised. The most innocent remarks are taken as criticism and they feel nobody understands them and therefore nobody likes them. They keep fretting over remarks made days ago. Their own desires and their own life don't get a chance to mature because they spend so much time worrying over what others said about them. Every burst of enthusiasm is quickly stifled by minor criticism, every instinctive impulse to enjoy life gets squashed by their fear of their parents or other authority figures.
Real criticism is even harder to bear, and they simply don't want to hear it. They start to defend themselves before they let it sink in what the other person is really saying. They make apologies before they have even heard half of what is being said to them. They answer as soon as someone starts to speak to them and they keep talking to avoid listening.
They are also afraid to give criticism because what you give you might also receive.
A passive and yielding type of person
To summarise their personality you could say that their strong point is the ability to go along with whatever somebody else says, to yield to other peoples wishes and to adapt to whatever the authorities decide. Anything rather than saying no. So they are easy going: they'll go to great lengths to show their willingness, especially when they are being appreciated. As a therapist they'll be masters at going with the flow and adapting to the other persons initiative.
Their ability to adapt also gives them the right to exist.
Through adapting themselves to the wishes of others and carrying out these wishes they make themselves indispensable. So their self-worth is derived from going along with the expectations of other people.
This means that they have very little idea what they need for themselves. They are inclined to say that they are happy to go along, it is all right as far as they are concerned. But deep down this isn't true, deep down there is a feeling of apathy or depression. They don't develop their own personality, because then they wouldn't be able to adapt anymore and consequently they would lose their sense of self-worth which is based on helping other people in whatever way they desire.
Self protection by being unobtrusive
They may be ashamed of themselves and want to hide themselves and all the mistakes they think they are making. The best way to hide is to be unobtrusive, to stay in the background. So they come across as very subdued and unassuming type of people.
Self criticism Their sense of self-worth is low and they criticise themselves all the time. Even though they are sensitive to criticism from others, they are even more harsh on themselves. They spend so much time and energy by constantly looking at how they are doing something and why they are doing it, that it paralyses all their actions. They might instinctively start to do something and then they suddenly realise Oh, I am doing something, and then their evaluation process comes into action and all other activities grind to a halt.
Excluded from life
Because they don't dare to lead their own life everything becomes unreal to them. It is as if they are standing on the outside. Life seems grey and meaningless. They have run away from reality to lead their own life as much as they can. They avoid contact with others out of fear of being rejected. Although their first seating with someone usually goes quite well, it is at the second meeting that the brakes start to be applied and things come to a standstill.
A passive hero The hero is present in his passive phase. The hero doesn't have the courage to take on his task, he is too afraid that he will not be able to fulfil this task, it is too big for him. But at the same he is also afraid of his own powers. He senses that deep down there is an enormous vitality and power waiting to be released, but it feels too unreal and frightening to let go. He is afraid of all that freedom.
Magic
This state can be accompanied by a sense of magic, or perhaps superstition: If I don't adapt to every circumstance, the world will come to an unhappy end. This delusion gives them a sense of power and self-worth: If I don't help her she will commit suicide. This type of magic thinking might even take the form of obsessive rituals, like only stepping on the white tiles on the floor, or only taking a certain route in the street.
An adaptive borderline: chameleon.
In an extreme situation this sort of behaviour develops into a psychiatric problem. The person becomes a chameleon, an as if personality. They are so extreme in their adaptation that nobody can see who they really are anymore.
A powerless child: helpless
They look powerless and helpless. They also feel powerless and this makes them very passive in their behaviour. They feel small and they dream that they are a little child again. There is also a feeling of having to be a sweet little child, otherwise they will be punished. They are usually not well developed sexually either. They imagine they are not attractive because their breasts or their genitalia aren't well developed. They don't feel very masculine or feminine either, they only feel that they are the little child. But this helplessness also serves a purpose because it brings out the protective feeling in others and so they hope that someone will support them and do all the work for them.
Expressions
Fear: vague (2!), unknown (!), life, strangers, future, travelling, flying, crowds, streets, failure, disease, operations, cancer, death.
Mood: timid, uncertain, indecisive, loud laughter, (>) support, listless, meaningless, gloomy, suicidal.
Mental: confused, slow, orientation problems, lack of concentration, forgetful, dementia.
Religious: magic, obsessive.
Causes: neglect, abuse, incest, parents absent, addicted or weak, loss of parents and protectors.
Generals
Build: thin.
Locality: left.
Weather: (<) cold, (<) too hot, warm blooded, (>) sun; (>) storm, thunder and lightning,; (>) fresh air, sea.
Perspiration: sometimes at night in bed, under arms.
Time: (<) 3 pm. (>) evening.
Desires: sour (3), salt (2), meat (2), hard and soft boiled eggs (2), lettuce, bacon, beer, drinking (2), eating, alcohol, drugs.
Aversion: ginger, sweet.
Food: (<) coffee, pancakes, milk. Menses: infrequent; tired (<) during menses. Sleep: bad. Physical: (<) exertion. Complaints Bent back as if carrying a burden, stooped head and shoulders, walk on their ones; desire to cross legs (!) either at the knees or at the ankles. Tired, lack of energy. Dryness of skin and mucus membranes. Lymph glands swollen in neck, axilla and groin. Benign tumours and swellings. Headaches, jaws stiff and painful. Retarded growth, arrested development, small breasts. Dry and blocked nose, (<) morning, (<) milk, (<) central heating and dry air, (>) outside. Nosebleeds, old blood from back of nose.
Problems with oesophagus. Thyroid, goitre, parathyroid.
Lung affection: sarcoidosis, cancer.
Cardiovascular diseases, infarct. Abdominal aorta abnormalities.
Pain around heart, constriction, feeling there is not enough room for the heart.
Stomach feels empty, (>)(>) eating and drinking. Vomiting, (<) pancakes and doughnuts. Abdominal pains, as if bloated, as if the food is not moving, pressing against diaphragm. Prostate problems. Sterility. Kidney infections with oedema (<)(<)(<)throat infections. Pain in shoulders and neck, radiating to thumb, mainly on the right. Bone problems, atrophy, too supple. Pains in muscles. Itching in back, lumbar region, and on sides. Feeling of insects crawling on medial side of calves, under knees. Skin granuloma. DD: Carbon series, Stage 2, Aceticums, Muriaticums. DD: Silicium series, Natrum to Chlorum, doesn't feel good about himself either, but more unloved by family or friends. DD: sulphur, also has problems with stooped shoulders and doesn't feel accepted. But Sulphur feels more disgraced. With Beryllium it is more a feeling inside himself, than a feeling of having fallen from grace. DD yielding: Carcinosin, Lac caninum, other Lacs, Pulsatilla, Silica, Thuja. Case A 40 year old woman complains of tiredness, always tired and listless, always behind with everything. During the day she feels very gloomy, in the evening she starts to cheer up a bit. But if she goes to bed late she feels bad again the next morning. During a routine test a few years ago it was discovered that the bilirubin level of her blood was quite high. The tiredness is linked to a strong feeling of inferiority. She is a shy type and doesn't express herself very easily. She feels she isn't good enough, that she has no sex appeal because her breasts are too small. She feels she doesn't not live up to general standards. She also feels she isn't a good mother. She seems rather a grey sort of person, someone who always stays in the background. She hates criticism: even if a shop attendant looks a bit surly she thinks this is meant for her and gets upset. The first thing she says when I ask her to describe her character is: I want to know what is expected of me so I can follow that. She is afraid of criticising or hurting others. She would rather adapt to the circumstances; doing what others ask of her makes her feel needed. She hates making decisions, and would rather leave this to others. She would like to have a father-figure, a mentor whom she could rely on to guide her into what to do. She thinks that people whom she likes will feel rejected if she makes her own choices. She is afraid of bothering other people too much, of appearing too needy. It feels unnatural for her to stick up for herself. She is always busy following the rules. For instance, shell ride her bike following one particular row of tiles on the road. She is ashamed of herself and wants to hide from view, afraid of being seen and afraid of freedom; afraid of responsibility, afraid to make mistakes and not being able to hide. She walks stooped-shouldered, as if she is carrying a burden on her back. But this burden also serves as protection: at least she can't make contact with the universe when she walks like that. She feels as if all her emotions have to be squeezed out through a very narrow opening in a bottle and when they come out they are all distorted and chaotic. She goes to psychotherapy sessions, but she feels equally awkward there too. She feels as if she should let something happen but she doesn't know what, so she sits there all cramped, not knowing what to do. She likes to keep people at a distance for fear of being rejected, feeling they probably wont like her anyway. As a child she used to stand outside the circle of children playing: Nobody wants to play with me anyway! She feels it is obvious that nobody wanted to play with her then, as she was such an insignificant little creature! She did have one girl friend, but only because her mother had forced her to. She loves arrogant and good looking men. Her own marriage isn't all that happy: she doesn't have much sexual desire. She comes from a very strict religious family. Her father was distant and cold; he was afraid of spoiling his children. He was so hard that she thought she must be very bad otherwise he wouldn't be so cruel to her.He also taunted his children, to get them hardened to the world. He used to beat them, even with a stick, when they did something wrong, and when she was a teenager he once refused to speak to her for 3 weeks as a punishment for something or other. Every show of enthusiasm was immediately squashed at home. Her father got angry if she did something for him and in her enthusiasm made some small mistake. She was afraid of her father and always on her guard not to do anything wrong. She felt rejected and her eyes still fill with tears when she reads about Daddys little girl. She feels I have to be the sweet little girl, otherwise I will be punished. Her mother was rather weak: she became manic depressive when she was 48; she just couldn't stand up to her husband. Her parents often had rows, and not such little ones either. She used to hold her breath, praying that it would be over soon. Her mother used to keep the children small, afraid that she would lose control if she let them grow up. She was, deep down, very unsure of herself but presented herself as someone who knew and could handle everything. But her mother used to lean on her and used to confide in her what she thought of her husband. This left her no room to develop her own personality. She loves reading; it is a way of escape for her. When she was little she moved heaven and earth to be allowed to join a library. She had a very significant dream: I was walking around carrying a very heavy man on my back. Then a knight came along and threw a orange or pink pick-axe at this man and killed him. I felt very afraid and guilty and started to defend myself, because it had been my task to look after this man and now he was dead. But although I felt very guilty, I was also very relieved to be rid of him, because he had been a great burden. But I would never have dared to throw him off myself. I was very grateful to the knight for doing this dirty work or me. But I also realised that this burden had been a sort of protection for me, for at least I did have to show my face to the world while I was stooping. It was strange to be standing upright again, frightening and nice at the same time. I was defending myself by pointing out the colourful attire of the attacker, as it was these colours that had misled me into thinking he was O.K. If he hadn't been wearing these colours I would have quickly taken another path, so he wouldn't have seen us, so it wasn't my fault that all this had happened!There are some other complaints that she suffers from: pain in the jaws and pain in the shoulders and neck, radiating to her thumb, especially the right one. Her glands under her arms and in her neck and groins are always swollen, sometimes even painfully swollen. She has small breasts. When she drinks milk her nose blocks up. Coffee makes her tremble and pancakes make her vomit. When she was a baby she was in hospital for three weeks because she wasn't thriving. When she was 3 she had a kidney infection with oedema after a throat infection following scarlet fever. She has a lazy left eye with strabismus, which was corrected by surgery. When she was 27 she broke the relationship with her boyfriend because he didn't appreciate her looks, but she kept thinking about what this relationship had meant to her. It made her feel even more gloomy and indifferent for a while. Generals Weather: warm, (>) sun; (>) thunder and lightening; (>) fresh air, sea.
Perspiration: sometimes at night in bed, under arms.
Time: (<) 1 and 3 pm.
Desires: sour (3), salt (2), bacon, meat (2), hard- and soft boiled eggs (2), lettuce.
Aversion: sauerkraut, pancakes.
Food: (<) coffee, pancakes, milk.
Menses: infrequent; tired (<) during menses.
Sleep: poor.
Analysis
The uncertainty and the fears are the most striking symptoms. She doesn't dare to stand up for herself, she is very indecisive. She wants support from a strong father figure. She feels she is a bad person. This all points to the Carbon series.
Her answer to my question to describe her character really says it all: I want to know what is expected of me so I can make sure I follow those directions. This adaptation to the wishes of other people and this passive behaviour point to stage 2, and so we end up with Beryllium.
Her dream is also most significant: I was carrying a heavy man on my back and a youth threw his orange or pink pick-axe at him and the man died. I felt afraid and guilty and started to defend myself, but I loved the colour of the pick-axe. Here we see the trait of toiling for someone else: she is carrying someone else on her back. The youth is the hero who quickly solves the problem for her. The orange/pink pick-axe has obvious sexual undertones.
Reaction
After Beryllium metallicum 1M her fears disappeared within a short time. She started to stick up for herself at work. She gained some important insights. It became clear to her that she was afraid of her own power, and that she had needed to keep her own strength down, because her mother wanted to keep the children small. It also became clear that she herself was being the same overprotective mother towards her eldest child. She also understood the energies of passivity and adaptability. Because of her helplessness she was able to mobilise the help of other people. Her adaptability had allowed her to exist: Because you are saving the other person, you are allowed to be. She also discovered a certain power in the attitude If I don't help her she will commit suicide. Other remedies that helped her before were Magnesium muriaticum and Niccolum sulphuricum.
Case by Rienk Stuut A woman suffers from panic attacks (Carbon series), even from minor incidents. She is always stressed and she never stops running. She takes another woman (who she thinks is a better person) as an example for her to follow and then shell act as if she is this other woman (Chameleon: Beryllium). She easily loses her self confidence (Carbon series), and thinks she is too fat.
Her father always criticised her so she used to adapt her behaviour (Stage 2) until he was happy. In her present relationship with her boyfriend she is still using this adaptive behaviour, because she wants him to support her (Carbon series).
She constantly asks for approval. After Beryllium she suddenly feels as if she is really somebody (Carbon series). She stays with her own feelings and she even dares to confront her boyfriend at times.
Case by Willem Woutman This is about a man who has a nervous breakdown. He has been at home for the past 9 months. He feels he is a failure and he sits and broods on the sofa for days (passive, Stage 2). He feels he has lost his way in life (Carbon series). He suffers from panic attacks (Carbon series) and he has lost faith in other people. He used to allow his boss to lead the way for him (Stage 2).He can't decide (Stage 2 and 3) about the sale of his house and his mother takes all decisions on his behalf. After Beryllium he sells the house himself and is able to start work again.
I found a good fit in baryta carb, and was going to give it, but then i found the articles especially to do with social phobia in Beryllium, especially Beryllium nitricum.
ReplyDeleteThey have similar traits the beryllium and baryta carbonica, however the article about berryllium nitricum of a teenager points to a vengeful type anger, such as with passive aggressive and defiance. any comments?