Lac equinum and arsenicum
- Sadhna thakkar
Dd ars., lac-e.
Arsenic has a long history of use/abuse with horses. The drug acts on muscular tissue so as to increase the power of endurance. This quality is sought after in horses, especially race horses. Horse has enormous demands put on its power of endurance and "wind," and arsenic is a common remedy for the effects of prolonged endurance. Jockeys in the past knew this well and exploited it not only for horse racing but also for "dressing up" broken-down horses so as to fetch higher prices at market. Arsenic would fatten the horse, make its skin shiny and give it powers of endurance. Typically the duration of the mineral-dose would last until shortly after the sale was completed... thus the popular saying: "That horse must have been jockeyed up on arsenic." Many of the symptoms that came out in the Lac-eq. proving are similar to those of Arsenicum: anxiety, restlessness, difficulty to meditate, impatience, especially with delays. The fear of someone lurking outside and a need to protect the family is similar to fear of robbers, anxiety for others, duty consciousness and the conscience for trifles of Arsenicum Lac equinum's need to organize and get rid of clutter also is similar to the fastidiousness and orderliness of Arsenicum The anticipatory anxiety of Lac-eq. is similar to the anxiety of when anything is expected of the Arsenicum patient. The sensitivity to noise, irritability and dictatorial behaviour of Lac equinum also reminded me of Arsenicum along with desire for sour things as in Lac equinum's desire for lemonade. According to Teste, Arsenicum acts much more powerfully on vegetable-eating animals than on carnivorous animals.
I am concerned there will be a tendency to prescribe these remedies because we see a non-clinical connection between the patient and a remedy source, such as a horse or a snake or a plant, etc. It is of the utmost importance that we confirm every prescription with actual proving and-or cured symptoms.
Proving themes
The big themes that came out for Lac equinum in this proving are frustration, impatience, industriousness, and confusion.
Events
Flight home is delayed. Exposed to a strong smell of phenol or formaldehyde like anatomy lab. I believe the remedy got antidoted. (1)
Took the proving book out while on the plane this morning and the book vanished! (6)
As I took the remedy I pictured turning into a creature like Hunkra (Boopsie's channeled spirit in Doonesbury comic strip). Moments after taking the remedy, my wife said, "No horns or tail!" (2)
Insight from within: This remedy seems like a metal to me, silver comes to mind (3)
Paralyzed, Sensation as if. Took the first dose just before bed. On lying down a few minutes later I felt my lower legs to be extremely heavy and had the feeling they were paralyzed. Woke up later to urinate and my body had the same sensation of great density while I was up walking. (4)
Took first dose before bed and within a few seconds felt a bandlike sensation around neck like a ribbon choker pulled too tight. Very uncomfortable, I had the feeling of suffocation, not being able to breathe well. I had to pull the blankets and loose hair away from my neck. Within 20-30 minutes it gradually faded and I fell asleep. (5)
Mind
Anxiety, Worry
Worry, Anxious. After telling the secrets, felt anxious about what I had done, would they still like me?
Anxious about being late. Feel that I am late a lot, even though I am not (3)
Tendency for my mind to jump ahead and worry over the worst (3)
Anticipatory anxiety (3)
Apathetic
Very low energy, apathetic (4)
Feeling flaky, I don't give a shit. (7)
Desperate. Apathy. (6)
Life is hard feeling (6)
Assertive
Felt more assertive than usual and volunteered to run office meeting. (2)
Attention
Walked into a conference, greeted everyone and enjoyed briefly being in the limelight. More comfortable having attention on me. (3)
Competitive, confrontational
Feeling competitive, impatient, disliked people getting ahead of me and being delayed (1)
Felt confrontational (1)
First on the bus, first off the bus, first into the rental car office, feeling impatient, irritable; confronted the clerk as to why I was not the first person called, even though I was the first person in line. (1)
When clerk encouraged me to buy insurance I told her I was a hard sale and asked her if she got a commission. I insisted she note every scratch and mark on the car and note exactly the gas gauge level. (1)
Continue to be impatient and confrontational at almost every encounter. (1)
Confusion, disorganization
Losing track of things (6)
Papers can't get things done, like Sisyphus rolling boulder uphill. Drowning in disorganization. Fear of losing notebook (6)
Pursued details instead of priorities. Effort without results. Fighting quality but sinking like quicksand. (6)
Accidentally deleted a computer program, otherwise more efficient and organized than usual. (2)
Duty
Loosing ground, though struggling. Do your duty but life is crumbling. (6)
Duty; neglectful of
Not remembering dreams, feeling neglectful of duty (6)
Felt bad because I did not take good notes (8)
Delayed taking the remedy because she felt she would not like it, felt regret (9)
Embarrassment
Yelled at therapist on team who upset people at work. Felt embarrassed and terrible about the situation. Could not get her number; sinking feeling, drowning, apologized. (6)
Fearfulness
Snowstorm today and I canceled my patients, afraid to drive in the snow, more so than normal (3)
When coming home I left the chains on too long and they broke. I was fearful that there might be ice up ahead, though the road I was on was dry. I would rather break the chains and be safe. Too fearful to pull over and take them off. More fearful than usual. (3)
Feelings of love
Sitting with daughter, she was wearing a soft pink dress, her eyes looked so blue. She was exquisitely beautiful, I was profoundly in love with her. It was an unusually deep feeling with her. Realized how limited I am in expressing my love for her. (7)
Forgetful
Memory poor- forgetting things (3)
Memory not precise, only remembering parts of dreams. (2)
Increased trouble remembering patients faces, other facts, even the security code. It reminded me of patient with CFIDS whose case I took today, she had marked forgetfulness (2)
Hurry (3), Time
Pressured, compressed feeling (6)
Impatient, especially with delays
I am intolerant of any delay and will confront anyone whom I feel is to blame/is the cause of delay. (1)
Impatient; with my patients, with unhelpful sales people (3)
Irritable, impatient, confrontational (1) with others (7)
Impatient and bored (5)
Urination frequent, 9 times out of 10 the bathroom at work was already occupied. I was impatient and outraged (7)
Impulsive, Reveals Secrets, Lack of restraint
I had two secrets that I had previously decided to keep silent about. I suddenly and impulsively could not keep them but had to share them with a close friend. I blurted them out, abruptly and with little forethought. The sensation inside was that I simply could not restrain myself. It was two things: a strong feeling from within, though not explosive- more overwhelming, coupled with no longer having any gate of restraint to hold it in. "I don't believe I am saying this," but a drive to do it. Less restraint. (3)
Industrious
Very productive (2)
Got a phenomenal amount of work done (6)
Went out of my way to get things done (6)
Stayed late at work cleared off desk completely; felt the need to organize, bothered by clutter and mess. It had been piled of paper and things I could not quite throw away for 3 months (3)
Felt very motivated and energetic in the evening: got a lot accomplished -cleaning, sewing, typing, things I had been putting off for months (5)
More driven in work, more driven to accomplish (3)
Irritable
Irritable: felt very irritated at a general business meeting conducted by Robert's Rules. Felt left out by the majority rules process, frustrated, almost moved to tears (5) Felt nasty when cut off by other drivers: "Fuck you!" feeling (4)
Peaceful and calm with moments of irritation (9)
Moody, very cranky when hungry, snapped at husband (4)
Felt frustrated and overwhelmed by everything. Wanted to quit school, quit work, stay home and do nothing, get divorced, etc. Finally took a 30C dose of my constitutional remedy and felt immediate improvement in mood, energy, sex drive (4)
Loquacious (1)
Mistakes
Numbers, couldn't add simple figures (1)
Numbers, had difficulty picking up phone numbers correctly from voicemail: reversing numbers, not able to follow rapidly spoken numbers (2), (4)
Phone numbers, had trouble calculating simple copy amount. Conscious of mind not working well.
Thoughts of Flowers for Algernon and Alzheimer's (2)
Relaxed feeling
Woke feeling relaxed and mellow, wife remarked I was more relaxed and did not have my usual "edge" (2)
Felt relaxed on waking (2)
Restlessness of mind
Mind wandering (1)
Difficult to meditate, too many thoughts no depth or connection, very restless mind (1)
Restless (9)
Skipped morning meditation many times (4)
Restless, difficult to meditate (3)
Sadness
Depressed, hopeless (7)
Mild angst (7)
Unpleasant day, things that usually make me happy just had a brief impact. I tended to dwell on the negative thoughts (4)
Sensitive
To sound, loud noises, all seemed exaggerated (9)
Very sensitive to noise (4)
Teamwork
Was supportive of partner (6)
Thoughts, vanishing, fuzziness, lack of mental clarity
Mental fuzziness, no focus, "the angels drove me here tonight" (9)
No attention for details, but get it done (9)
Moments of brilliance but then it is gone (9)
Hard to pay attention to the remedy, kept no record, no account, but OK (9)
Thoughts, definite, clear-cut
Things seem more black and white, less gray. Not comfortable in the gray zone (3)
Thoughts, frightful
Had to drive to work today in the snow and I imagined a semi truck hitting my car and I could not control it or avoid an accident. Imagined it as though it were real (3)
Imagining the worse and it feels very real (3)
Easily imagined the worst, imagination took off (3)
Vertigo
On waking 4:15 Am.., leaned to back and left (2)
Head
Pain, aching, right frontal area 8-9 PM triggered by being override and reading (2)
Pain, gnawing, tension in head (9)
Shut down feeling, constricted in head (9)
Took third dose shortly before bed. Noticed slight headache immediately, it cleared then returned a few minutes later-again very brief. Slight pressure at both temples (4)
Slight headache on waking in forehead amel. after eating breakfast (5)
Eyes
Eyes dry (9)
Nose
Cores scant in cold air outdoors walking (would have normally needed to blow nose several times) (2)
Coryza clear outdoors in the snow, small amount (2)
Felt on edge of getting a sinus infection (9)
Face
Eruptions, acne (3)
Eruption, herpetic right corner of mouth, lasts one day (1)
Mouth
Bleeding gums with tooth brushing for one week; a lot of blood, it frightened me (5)
Throat
Pain sore lasted one hour (1)
Stomach
Appetite decreased (2)
Felt like binging-actually did have a piece of candy in mid-afternoon (very unusual for me to snack between meals) (4)
Aversion, even repulsion, for chocolate, very unusual (9)
Eructation's 30 minutes after eating lunch (2),
eructation one hour after lunch (2)
Hiccoughs, 4 episodes in a single day (6)
Nausea mild queasiness during and after breakfast (2)
Nausea, felt a little nauseous while standing in line at the bank this a.m. The bank was very crowded and it was a long wait; felt impatient. Took charcoal caps and Echinacea and felt better within 2 hours (5)
Thirst low, not drinking as much water as usual; still thirstless next day but had normal BM
Pain, burning in stomach, epigastric area (6)
Abdomen
Pressure (1), Feeling of pressure at the epigastric area (1)
Bloating (3), Bloating lower afternoon (4)
Distention with flatulence (3)
Pain, cramping, epigastric 1:30 a.m. (2)
Pain, cramping around umbilicus triggered by exercise amel. eructation's, flatus agg. after eating (2)
Pain, supra pubic 11-12 a.m. (2)
Pain, discomfort distention bloating 4 a.m. (2)
Rectum
Incomplete evacuation (1)
Urge to stool, insufficient results (1)
Constipation (3), (4)
Flatulence, painless, odorless, some distention (5)
Flatulence, afternoon and evening with stool (2)
Stool
Stools loose (2)
Bowels loose (8)
Stool with mucous and flatulence (2)
Bladder
Urination frequent, 9 times out of 10 the bathroom at work was already occupied. I was impatient and outraged (7)
Male
Sex drive decreased (6)
Female
Sex drive (which had been high for several weeks previous to taking the remedy ) was depressed. Orgasm delayed (4)
Menses, spotted for one week mid cycle (very unusual) (4)
Menses, clots membranous, worse ever (8)
Respiration
Difficult, taking a deep breathe, breath stops at epigastric area (1)
Chest
Heart, tachycardia, like had been drinking coffee but did not (9)
Pulse rate more reactive to activity than normal. I'm aware of tachycardia with mild exercise and then it very quickly turns to normal (4)
Back
Pain, aching, burning between right scapula and spine; mild discomfort (2)
Pain, neck left side 6:15 a.m. (2)
Pain, aching lower back agg. rising from a seat hard to straighten up (7)
Extremities
Cold, feet (1)
Eruptions, scaly, rough, patchy round patch size of nickel left forearm dorsal aspect (5). Patch on arm size of quarter, when scratched, a few scales scrap off with pinpoint bleeding underneath (5)
Eruption, wheal and flare skin reaction brief on right forearm after shower (4)
Eruption, wheal and flare left arm two small areas (4)
Pain, stiff, sore knees on first waking, climbing stairs (5)
Numbness, hands, fall asleep (3)
MUSCULOSKELETAL
Had a massage and noticed tissues felt different: tighter, more rigid, less responsive, less resilient (3)
Sleep
Difficult (9)
Waking, 4:30 am. up for the day, not tired (1)
Waking, early (1)
Waking: 12:45 am. and 3:45 am. (2)
Waking, twice in the night around 1 am. and 4 am. (2)
Waking, 4 am. (2)
Waking, had numerous brief wakings during the night (4)
Waking, at 2 am. unable to sleep (6)
Waking, with a terrified feeling. I felt someone was stalking the house, my son jumps out of bed and sleepwalks, moaning. I get into bed with him. Then the phone rings and nobody is there when I answer. Fantasized about how I would protect my family and myself. I kept hearing noise outside. My dog was growling. (7)
Dreams
Dreams vivid (4)
Activities of the day, work
Dream: work themes, getting remedies. (2)
Dream: a garden of poppies, pansies, had planted some few days before. (5)
Dream: my pet rabbit with a shaven belly and scar (in real life we just had our rabbit fixed). (5)
Dream of work, needing to do something and sensation of being late. (3)
Animals
Dream: of bear, seemed important but couldn't remember details (8)
Numerous active dreams: one had horses in it: racing horses on racetrack, spectator, feeling was of excitement and fun (4)
Anxiety of Conscious, Seduction
Dream: I am seduced by a woman I don't know. I have a strong sexual desire for her. She makes a request that she wants me to pull her nipples very hard. I do it with the feeling of : Who is this woman and why am I here? A bit guilty, like "my wife wouldn't be pleased about this." (7)
Dream: I'm touching a beautiful woman sexually, she is very beautiful I realize it is my friend's wife although it does not look like her. I am embarrassed and guilty but was so connected to the person. I say I'm sorry to my friend for betraying him. I can see he is shocked and angry, he is crying and starts to kiss me passionately -it is very weird and uncomfortable. I awaken with a strange feeling. (7)
Concern over appearance, breasts
Dream about bicycle riding: I was riding with funny shorts. (4)F
Just before waking I dreamed of my breasts. The arteries and veins were visible beneath the skin as great florescent red stripes radiating out from my nipples superiority and green stripes inferiority. I wished for the first time that I would reach menopause soon so they would recede. (4) Running naked with breasts (9)
Confidence about getting things accomplished
Dream: Trying to get money to buy a new house. It would take a lot of work but felt like I could do it. Increased confidence in getting things done (2)
Danger at night lurking outside house
Dream: hear noise outside the house and I get up to look. Neighbor is also looking and he sees me naked. I found out later oldest son was being sprayed with fluid by neighborhood youths. Feeling of frustration that I could not catch them. (2)
Danger, hiding
Dream: On a large ship with terrorist type middle eastern men. I'm in great danger of being murdered. There are other people on the ship in a similar situation. I am trying to be amiable. I'm looking for a place to hide from these dangerous people. Next, I am hiding in a room to avoid contact with these men. (7)
Important things missing
Dream: Recurring images of CD's with reading matter imbedded between them. Also was getting mail/magazines with other labels of magazines I did not get. I feel this dream represented concerns about incorporation papers. Important thing missing, etc. (The evening before this dream I attended business meeting about incorporating the group. I feel the review of our legal documents may have influenced the dream.) (2)
Indignation
Dream: living in a loft space with husband. Large, loft-like space with partitions to make separate rooms. I came home one day to find several college age kids had moved in with us -they had torn down the partitions to make it open space again. They did not seem concerned that we had already been living there and did not want any roommates. I was very annoyed at our landlord. How could he? However, I was also intrigued by the people moving in and interested in their personalities, belongings, energy, art and music (Hip hop stuff, graffiti, MTV stuff) (5)
Dream: I got pulled over in my car by Michael Quinn. He was going to arrest me for making an illegal turn. I was pissed off, screaming "You are unfair." Who are you! (7)
Playful, adventure
Dream: A woman confides in me about money problems and I discuss it in front of another. She feels that I have violated confidence. Later I am discussing a case with another student (it is a presentation) but we are so quiet no one else can really hear. I note they must be bored. My cat has the equivalent of a broken ankle and it is going to be cast. General immobilization occurs after much discussion about what it means. Also a device to shrink and enlarge people is used by people I know. No hostile intent, playful. I found the dream interesting and especially towards the end it seemed like an adventure. Last thing I talked about with my wife before going to bed was money. (2)
Pursuit
Dream: Two boys and I are being pursued by some guy. We are looking down on him from a mountain. He is chopping down trees and spots us. We cannot climb the mountain but we go inside the mountain which was actually just an artificial structure. (2)
Rejection
I am in a big cave lit by a fire with a Native American Shaman (short hair, medium build, modern appearance). I am telling him everything about myself: who I am, what motivates me, etc. I am very animated and verbose, he turns his head and I feel rejected. (1)
Resolution
Dream: working at new agency, very efficient and good but homeopathy is not going so well. Patient is missing and finding the remedy helps find the patient. Not clear how, but nurse practitioner was also looking for this same patient. She asks me a favor. I forget what. Somehow, a sign on brass plate or door knob indicated the missing person. Although I don't remember how, it felt like some things were resolved. (2)
Robert Redford
My wife took the remedy and dreamed of Robert Redford 4x in one week. Non sexual. (7)
Roles, rank, pecking order
Dream: took course with Paul Herscu I read about in the Simillimum. He analyzed a case that a colleague and I had treated. We had prescribed allopathic med's for back pain and depression. We discussed the case. Suddenly in a restaurant, someone had disparity in pupil size. Someone commented that we were lucky to have an ophthalmologist there, as this patient had a very rare condition. (I felt this was a reflection of some of my concerns about being more of a generalist.) (2)
Dream: trying to get through traffic to destination along the way. Along the way stop at restaurant and tease a doctor in a white coat: "Are you a busboy?" (Perhaps related to NY Times article about idea that residents should not be called doctors.) Usual theme of finding class but not uptight, theme of being more laid back. (2)
Sadness
Dream: Going fishing. I have to walk down a large mountain and as I come to the river I see that it is dry. I look farther upstream and see the lake is dry. I am sad. (7)
Sense of wasted opportunities
Dream: I am a character who has some talent. I am playing with jigsaw puzzles later on after a dissolute life. Burned out. Go back to puzzles but they are just plain gray paper pieces, no color. Feeling of a sense of waste and lost opportunity. Scene shift: in a big seminar with female homeopaths dominant. More sensitive, one gets an emergency call but essentially sluffs it off. Scene shift: evaluating ADD (Attention Deficit disorder) children. Upset that child's history reveals clear problems several years earlier. When I woke up had feelings of lost opportunities. Interestingly my group may bid on contract for ADD screening. (2)
Shock, disgust
A little girl's sister appears, we find parts of her toes in the back of a pickup truck. A racist? cannibal group is responsible. We thought a pedophile was responsible before. Shock and disgust with both of these possibilities. (I note a pattern of concern about feet, occurred in another dream.) (2)
Taking things in stride
Feeling of taking things in stride and not getting uptight like I usually would, e.g. : lost a wallet but traded with the person who picked it up by mistake (I had theirs); did not have credit cards but got to make a purchase through clerk anyway (2)
Getting to class, not as competitive and, even though there was trouble getting to school and with the assignment, it was O.K. (2)
Teaching
Dream: I was with a friend, who was walking backwards teaching a woman how to sing. (7)
Teamwork, Community
Dream: creature from outer space like a Jell-O mold. It had psychic powers and could cause things to happen. I was involved in some group project and I had to kill it by pouring pepper on it and using a big cookie cutter to help break it up. An attorney was involved and he screwed the group over. Exciting dream, kind of fun but I did not like the idea of killing the alien. (2)
Worked on dinner cleanup crew and this seemed to influence my dream: theme of class working on project. Some competition (e.g. : who could get upstairs first), but later the group was working well together. (2)
Dream fragments: bunch of friends over for a super bowl game. I'm just dressed in bathrobe and pajamas...unusual for me. Problem with shoe falling apart. Friend tells me how to fix it. I thank him, not embarrassed. (2)
Dream: 2 Native American groups: one tried to coerce me into action (I don't remember what) but delivered violent beating. Other group was friendly and much nicer. Socially advanced with other groups. Ended on an upbeat note. (2)
Dream: a very clear dream of anatomy lab-dissection of the brachioplexus. Cleaning out the bins the body parts are kept in. Feeling of precision, fastidiousness, teamwork. Sunlight. Smell of formulin (5)
Dream: Taking class and working at a clinic. Having trouble getting an ambulance authorized for patient. Drove to class, supposed to teach some other students. Trouble getting to class, stuck in a factory but eventually got there. Helped clean up a mess in huge tub (sense of community) (2)
Dream: at birthday party for a friend, we were all baking a strawberry shortcake together. A very sunny, light, spring like feeling (5)
Dream: office work, General theme of groups working together (2)
Dream: Star Trek and working with the crew (2)
Dream: of the Emeryville co-housing project that I had visited two days ago: a cooperative residential development, warm fuzzy feeling about living in co-housing (5)
Dream: of alternative medicine clinic with native American spirit of cooperation. Everyone working well together (2)
Travel, journey
Dream: driving in a car over the hills while singing, very pleasant feeling. Beautiful spring scene in Sonoma County, blue sky and green pastures, blooming daffodils (5)
Travel, journey, difficulty
Dream: traveling in foreign country, turned down a dead end, another person was driving. A child bumped his head, the mother of the child ignored it. I told the driver to drive on. Later some cops went by, but they were not looking for us. The feeling on waking was of shame and guilt that I would leave the scene of an accident. (A dream fragment related to part on TV show with Mother not caring for her child with asthma, the doctor helps her out by buying some medicine.) (2)
Unhelpful, unpleasant people
Dream: I was not feeling well and people were not helpful as I looked for a bathroom. Actually they were nasty. (2)
Dream: Discussed the proving with Nancy (I can't remember what we said) People very critical, like junior high, nasty edge. I was cleaning a bathroom and doing dishes and in both situations people made nasty personal remarks. One person was at least pleasant and sympathetic but then turned negative. Nancy said Nitric Acid was the remedy. Out of town stranger asks for directions and I try to help and accompany him to dinner and a movie. In the middle of the movie he leaves me to join others. (2)
Dream: I was trying to buy the business office of a pharmacy to use as my homeopathy practice. They wanted to give it to me to use but talked about selling me the pharmacy instead. Not what I had in mind! Then I was trying to figure out remedies for people. Presented cases to a visiting expert. Went to bookstore but the books were too expensive and elaborate, outdated. Feeling of mild frustration. (2)
Dream: requested by coworker to see for couple's counseling but I did not want to. Saw a tough case of a very precocious child who arrogantly says "you don't get it" (possibly influenced by a television show about a bright murderer). Asked by prestigious clinic to help out in coverage. I was supposed to help in stress management, so told joke about money and recommended a trip. The head doctor laughed (2)
Dream: a structure or building falling apart as if an earthquake had split the building. I had been discussing homeopathy books in the library with the librarian, they wanted to remove the books from the library. (2)
Dream: Driving down freeway, battery is going dead. I'm in a store returning a shirt, the salesperson says they don't sell this particular shirt. The shirt keeps turning different colors: green and red. She shows it to everyone and tries to sell it. I'm impatient. I've driven a long way and want to complete the task. I walk out and I am with my brother going back to the car with a now-dead battery. On the way I'm in a field and there are cats that have surrounded a marmot and are attacking it. I try to scare the cats away. I'm a little afraid, they are vicious cats. (7)
UN remembered, frustrating, because unusual to not recall. (9)
Vulnerability
Football players without pads: theme of humanness and vulnerability. (2)
Violence, Callousness
Dream: of bowling alley with no bowling balls. I had to use metal platter to bowl with and it was not easy to bowl. It is a very well-to-do bowling alley, everyone owns their own ball. Earlier, I was at a very upscale abortion clinic waiting for a friend of a friend to help them with the wait. The clinic was like mall and a station stop on a subway as well. A woman who was coming there was accidentally shot. She turned into a sort of rag doll, actually a stuffed bird with the sawdust fill coming out of the neck. Someone disposed of it like trash. I was struck by the disregard and demoralization. I felt a certain callousness of the will to do that which was upsetting. (2)
Dream: Like Pulp Fiction. I and another guy are two henchmen harassing a man. I'm telling the man what a week I've had: two close calls of almost being hurt. My partner pulls a gun on the victim, I am shocked and then he points the gun at me and it is apparent that it is me he wants to shoot. I don't know why. He directs me out of the room. He knocks on the bedroom door and says "Dad?" He walks in a two young people in bed having sex. As he is caught up in that I escape. Change of scene: we are analyzing a case and the woman who took the case is taken aback when a colleague informs her that the person had a serious lung disease that the she missed because she did not do a physical exam. Scene shift: Have to treat the patient, a young woman who is inappropriate and seductive. I have to set limits. Wake up feeling mildly anxious. I am struck by the contrasts: blandness vs. sex and violence, also my mental confusion and difficulties, yet in some ways more organized and conscious. I felt the dream drew on a law and order show I had seen and the lunch I had with a family practice doctor who is interested in homeopathy. (2)
Violence, beatings
Dream: extraterrestrials against me, violent fight for life. They were trying to kill me. Nightmare.
Dream: In a restaurant eating with my brother. Couple nearby having an argument. I look at them, and the man gets upset. There is an exchange of words and my brother gets up and physically "man handles" him by striking him. Next, somehow I end up in a fight with this guy. We are all over the place, I have some kind of metal stick in one hand and a wooden stick in the other. I strike him over and over again but this guy will not stop. He just keeps on coming, he is very crazed -Like "Rocky". He won't hurt me and take me down. I'm afraid and I don't want to kill him but I see no other option. I hit him in his head and ribs over and over. "I want peace" He won't stop!! I strike and strike and strike-he falls downstairs and climbs back again. He is bloody and beaten up but won't die. I'm apologizing to his wife. Finally he goes away and promises redemption. I feel frightened, but very much want to live and survive myself. Next I'm with my family, my brother's face looks like that of an East Indian man. Someone hands me the phone and it is Phylis Diller-she wants to know about homeopathy. My mom is there and I want to tell her about this terrible fight that happened. I'm crying, she seems to not understand and says "Did you stain your suit?" I say no, she will not hear me or understand me. (7)
Violence, ego getting oneself into trouble
Dream: Spider man throws a bomb into a truck. Lifts his mask so those inside truck will see who he is before they die. The bomb does not blow up and one of the men gets out of the truck. I think about how ego got Spider man in trouble with hiding identity. (2)
Generals
Fatigue (2)
Surprisingly energetic feeling after getting only four hours sleep (5)
Fatigue 11 a.m. wish could take a nap (5)
Mares milk themes
Travel
Competition while traveling; impatience and irritability about being delayed, wanting to be the first in line
Fearful while traveling
Difficulties while traveling, especially with car travel
Pleasant travels in car through countryside
Working together, teamwork, collaboration
Pecking order, being aware of distinctions in education, training
Restlessness, difficult to meditate
Someone lurking outside the house at night, wanting to protect the family (a dream and an actual happening)
Impatient with sales people
Breasts
Indignation, How dare you? feeling
Feeling neglectful of duty
Feeling the need to organize, get rid of clutter, Industriousness, do things that have been waiting for months. OR the polarity: drowning in disorganization
Conscientiousness about trifles vs. inability to focus on trifles, details
Mistakes calculating, reversing numbers, etc., vs. Precision and Fastidiousness.
Note:
At the rubrics selection meeting prover's tried to re-experience the state knowing that the remedy was lac equinuum.
Some comments: Felt miserable, it pushed pulled my whole nature, yanked me back, everything a struggle, nothing flowed, no ease that usually occurs. Everything difficult or interrupted.
Impatient, frustrated, GET OFF MY BACK feeling, of being corralled, being reined in. interruption of flow, every time stated going forward, felt the reins pulling me back.
Struggle with roadblocks not of your own making.
When is it going to be my time?
When is it my turn?
Efforts unrequited, unrewarded.
Rubric
Rubrics chosen:
Mind
Anger; in traffic
Anxiety
Anxiety; anticipatory
Anxiety; after menses
Anxiety; conscience, of
Anxiety; lemonade; amel
Complaining
Critical, censorious
Cursing
Delusions; duty; neglected
Delusions; insane
Delusions; insulted
Delusions; hindered
Dictatorial
Discontented
Efforts; thwarted (Frustrated)
Escape; desire to
First in line; desires to be
Forgetful
Frustration
Fuzzy, sensation of
Hurry
Impatient
Indignation
Industrious
Injustice; cannot support
Irritable
Memory; weakness of
Mistakes; letters; transposes
Mistakes; numbers; in calculating
Mistakes; numbers; transposes
Noise, sensitive to
Offended, easily
Quarrelsome
Restlessness
Restlessness; meditation, during
Thoughts; wandering
Travel, desire to
Physicals
Head
Head; pain
Eyes
Dry
Nose
Nose; coryza; air, in open, cold; ameliorates
Mouth
Bleeding; gums; easily
Stomach
Stomach; pain; burning
Stomach; nausea
Stomach; desires; lemonade
Stomach; aversion; chocolate
Abdomen
Distension
Flatulence; after eating
Pain; cramping
Pain, pressure
Rectum
Flatus; after eating
Constipation
Stool
Loose
Male
Male; sexual passion; diminished
Female
Female; sexual passion; diminished
Female; sexual passion; increased
Sleep
Sleep; waking; 3 or 4 a.m.
Sleeplessness; after midnight
Sleeplessness; after 3 a.m.
Sleeplessness; 3-5 a.m.
Dreams; unsuccessful efforts
Dreams; police
Dreams; pursued
Dreams; amorous
Dreams; animals
Dreams; animals; restrained by collars
Dreams; breasts
Dreams; vivid; remember; difficult to
Dreams; fights
Dreams; journeys; difficulties during
Dreams; naked
Dreams; teamwork
Dreams; foreigners
Skin
Skin; eruptions; herpetic
Skin; eruptions; circinate
Generals
Evening or twilight; ameliorates
Fatigue
Pulse, frequent, motion aggravates
Dd ars., lac-e.
I am concerned there will be a tendency to prescribe these remedies because we see a non-clinical connection between the patient and a remedy source, such as a horse or a snake or a plant, etc. It is of the utmost importance that we confirm every prescription with actual proving and-or cured symptoms.
Proving themes
The big themes that came out for Lac equinum in this proving are frustration, impatience, industriousness, and confusion.
Events
Flight home is delayed. Exposed to a strong smell of phenol or formaldehyde like anatomy lab. I believe the remedy got antidoted. (1)
Took the proving book out while on the plane this morning and the book vanished! (6)
As I took the remedy I pictured turning into a creature like Hunkra (Boopsie's channeled spirit in Doonesbury comic strip). Moments after taking the remedy, my wife said, "No horns or tail!" (2)
Insight from within: This remedy seems like a metal to me, silver comes to mind (3)
Paralyzed, Sensation as if. Took the first dose just before bed. On lying down a few minutes later I felt my lower legs to be extremely heavy and had the feeling they were paralyzed. Woke up later to urinate and my body had the same sensation of great density while I was up walking. (4)
Took first dose before bed and within a few seconds felt a bandlike sensation around neck like a ribbon choker pulled too tight. Very uncomfortable, I had the feeling of suffocation, not being able to breathe well. I had to pull the blankets and loose hair away from my neck. Within 20-30 minutes it gradually faded and I fell asleep. (5)
Mind
Anxiety, Worry
Worry, Anxious. After telling the secrets, felt anxious about what I had done, would they still like me?
Anxious about being late. Feel that I am late a lot, even though I am not (3)
Tendency for my mind to jump ahead and worry over the worst (3)
Anticipatory anxiety (3)
Apathetic
Very low energy, apathetic (4)
Feeling flaky, I don't give a shit. (7)
Desperate. Apathy. (6)
Life is hard feeling (6)
Assertive
Felt more assertive than usual and volunteered to run office meeting. (2)
Attention
Walked into a conference, greeted everyone and enjoyed briefly being in the limelight. More comfortable having attention on me. (3)
Competitive, confrontational
Feeling competitive, impatient, disliked people getting ahead of me and being delayed (1)
Felt confrontational (1)
First on the bus, first off the bus, first into the rental car office, feeling impatient, irritable; confronted the clerk as to why I was not the first person called, even though I was the first person in line. (1)
When clerk encouraged me to buy insurance I told her I was a hard sale and asked her if she got a commission. I insisted she note every scratch and mark on the car and note exactly the gas gauge level. (1)
Continue to be impatient and confrontational at almost every encounter. (1)
Confusion, disorganization
Losing track of things (6)
Papers can't get things done, like Sisyphus rolling boulder uphill. Drowning in disorganization. Fear of losing notebook (6)
Pursued details instead of priorities. Effort without results. Fighting quality but sinking like quicksand. (6)
Accidentally deleted a computer program, otherwise more efficient and organized than usual. (2)
Duty
Loosing ground, though struggling. Do your duty but life is crumbling. (6)
Duty; neglectful of
Not remembering dreams, feeling neglectful of duty (6)
Felt bad because I did not take good notes (8)
Delayed taking the remedy because she felt she would not like it, felt regret (9)
Embarrassment
Yelled at therapist on team who upset people at work. Felt embarrassed and terrible about the situation. Could not get her number; sinking feeling, drowning, apologized. (6)
Fearfulness
Snowstorm today and I canceled my patients, afraid to drive in the snow, more so than normal (3)
When coming home I left the chains on too long and they broke. I was fearful that there might be ice up ahead, though the road I was on was dry. I would rather break the chains and be safe. Too fearful to pull over and take them off. More fearful than usual. (3)
Feelings of love
Sitting with daughter, she was wearing a soft pink dress, her eyes looked so blue. She was exquisitely beautiful, I was profoundly in love with her. It was an unusually deep feeling with her. Realized how limited I am in expressing my love for her. (7)
Forgetful
Memory poor- forgetting things (3)
Memory not precise, only remembering parts of dreams. (2)
Increased trouble remembering patients faces, other facts, even the security code. It reminded me of patient with CFIDS whose case I took today, she had marked forgetfulness (2)
Hurry (3), Time
Pressured, compressed feeling (6)
Impatient, especially with delays
I am intolerant of any delay and will confront anyone whom I feel is to blame/is the cause of delay. (1)
Impatient; with my patients, with unhelpful sales people (3)
Irritable, impatient, confrontational (1) with others (7)
Impatient and bored (5)
Urination frequent, 9 times out of 10 the bathroom at work was already occupied. I was impatient and outraged (7)
Impulsive, Reveals Secrets, Lack of restraint
I had two secrets that I had previously decided to keep silent about. I suddenly and impulsively could not keep them but had to share them with a close friend. I blurted them out, abruptly and with little forethought. The sensation inside was that I simply could not restrain myself. It was two things: a strong feeling from within, though not explosive- more overwhelming, coupled with no longer having any gate of restraint to hold it in. "I don't believe I am saying this," but a drive to do it. Less restraint. (3)
Industrious
Very productive (2)
Got a phenomenal amount of work done (6)
Went out of my way to get things done (6)
Stayed late at work cleared off desk completely; felt the need to organize, bothered by clutter and mess. It had been piled of paper and things I could not quite throw away for 3 months (3)
Felt very motivated and energetic in the evening: got a lot accomplished -cleaning, sewing, typing, things I had been putting off for months (5)
More driven in work, more driven to accomplish (3)
Irritable
Irritable: felt very irritated at a general business meeting conducted by Robert's Rules. Felt left out by the majority rules process, frustrated, almost moved to tears (5) Felt nasty when cut off by other drivers: "Fuck you!" feeling (4)
Peaceful and calm with moments of irritation (9)
Moody, very cranky when hungry, snapped at husband (4)
Felt frustrated and overwhelmed by everything. Wanted to quit school, quit work, stay home and do nothing, get divorced, etc. Finally took a 30C dose of my constitutional remedy and felt immediate improvement in mood, energy, sex drive (4)
Loquacious (1)
Mistakes
Numbers, couldn't add simple figures (1)
Numbers, had difficulty picking up phone numbers correctly from voicemail: reversing numbers, not able to follow rapidly spoken numbers (2), (4)
Phone numbers, had trouble calculating simple copy amount. Conscious of mind not working well.
Thoughts of Flowers for Algernon and Alzheimer's (2)
Relaxed feeling
Woke feeling relaxed and mellow, wife remarked I was more relaxed and did not have my usual "edge" (2)
Felt relaxed on waking (2)
Restlessness of mind
Mind wandering (1)
Difficult to meditate, too many thoughts no depth or connection, very restless mind (1)
Restless (9)
Skipped morning meditation many times (4)
Restless, difficult to meditate (3)
Sadness
Depressed, hopeless (7)
Mild angst (7)
Unpleasant day, things that usually make me happy just had a brief impact. I tended to dwell on the negative thoughts (4)
Sensitive
To sound, loud noises, all seemed exaggerated (9)
Very sensitive to noise (4)
Teamwork
Was supportive of partner (6)
Thoughts, vanishing, fuzziness, lack of mental clarity
Mental fuzziness, no focus, "the angels drove me here tonight" (9)
No attention for details, but get it done (9)
Moments of brilliance but then it is gone (9)
Hard to pay attention to the remedy, kept no record, no account, but OK (9)
Thoughts, definite, clear-cut
Things seem more black and white, less gray. Not comfortable in the gray zone (3)
Thoughts, frightful
Had to drive to work today in the snow and I imagined a semi truck hitting my car and I could not control it or avoid an accident. Imagined it as though it were real (3)
Imagining the worse and it feels very real (3)
Easily imagined the worst, imagination took off (3)
Vertigo
On waking 4:15 Am.., leaned to back and left (2)
Head
Pain, aching, right frontal area 8-9 PM triggered by being override and reading (2)
Pain, gnawing, tension in head (9)
Shut down feeling, constricted in head (9)
Took third dose shortly before bed. Noticed slight headache immediately, it cleared then returned a few minutes later-again very brief. Slight pressure at both temples (4)
Slight headache on waking in forehead amel. after eating breakfast (5)
Eyes
Eyes dry (9)
Nose
Cores scant in cold air outdoors walking (would have normally needed to blow nose several times) (2)
Coryza clear outdoors in the snow, small amount (2)
Felt on edge of getting a sinus infection (9)
Face
Eruptions, acne (3)
Eruption, herpetic right corner of mouth, lasts one day (1)
Mouth
Bleeding gums with tooth brushing for one week; a lot of blood, it frightened me (5)
Throat
Pain sore lasted one hour (1)
Stomach
Appetite decreased (2)
Felt like binging-actually did have a piece of candy in mid-afternoon (very unusual for me to snack between meals) (4)
Aversion, even repulsion, for chocolate, very unusual (9)
Eructation's 30 minutes after eating lunch (2),
eructation one hour after lunch (2)
Hiccoughs, 4 episodes in a single day (6)
Nausea mild queasiness during and after breakfast (2)
Nausea, felt a little nauseous while standing in line at the bank this a.m. The bank was very crowded and it was a long wait; felt impatient. Took charcoal caps and Echinacea and felt better within 2 hours (5)
Thirst low, not drinking as much water as usual; still thirstless next day but had normal BM
Pain, burning in stomach, epigastric area (6)
Abdomen
Pressure (1), Feeling of pressure at the epigastric area (1)
Bloating (3), Bloating lower afternoon (4)
Distention with flatulence (3)
Pain, cramping, epigastric 1:30 a.m. (2)
Pain, cramping around umbilicus triggered by exercise amel. eructation's, flatus agg. after eating (2)
Pain, supra pubic 11-12 a.m. (2)
Pain, discomfort distention bloating 4 a.m. (2)
Rectum
Incomplete evacuation (1)
Urge to stool, insufficient results (1)
Constipation (3), (4)
Flatulence, painless, odorless, some distention (5)
Flatulence, afternoon and evening with stool (2)
Stool
Stools loose (2)
Bowels loose (8)
Stool with mucous and flatulence (2)
Bladder
Urination frequent, 9 times out of 10 the bathroom at work was already occupied. I was impatient and outraged (7)
Male
Sex drive decreased (6)
Female
Sex drive (which had been high for several weeks previous to taking the remedy ) was depressed. Orgasm delayed (4)
Menses, spotted for one week mid cycle (very unusual) (4)
Menses, clots membranous, worse ever (8)
Respiration
Difficult, taking a deep breathe, breath stops at epigastric area (1)
Chest
Heart, tachycardia, like had been drinking coffee but did not (9)
Pulse rate more reactive to activity than normal. I'm aware of tachycardia with mild exercise and then it very quickly turns to normal (4)
Back
Pain, aching, burning between right scapula and spine; mild discomfort (2)
Pain, neck left side 6:15 a.m. (2)
Pain, aching lower back agg. rising from a seat hard to straighten up (7)
Extremities
Cold, feet (1)
Eruptions, scaly, rough, patchy round patch size of nickel left forearm dorsal aspect (5). Patch on arm size of quarter, when scratched, a few scales scrap off with pinpoint bleeding underneath (5)
Eruption, wheal and flare skin reaction brief on right forearm after shower (4)
Eruption, wheal and flare left arm two small areas (4)
Pain, stiff, sore knees on first waking, climbing stairs (5)
Numbness, hands, fall asleep (3)
MUSCULOSKELETAL
Had a massage and noticed tissues felt different: tighter, more rigid, less responsive, less resilient (3)
Sleep
Difficult (9)
Waking, 4:30 am. up for the day, not tired (1)
Waking, early (1)
Waking: 12:45 am. and 3:45 am. (2)
Waking, twice in the night around 1 am. and 4 am. (2)
Waking, 4 am. (2)
Waking, had numerous brief wakings during the night (4)
Waking, at 2 am. unable to sleep (6)
Waking, with a terrified feeling. I felt someone was stalking the house, my son jumps out of bed and sleepwalks, moaning. I get into bed with him. Then the phone rings and nobody is there when I answer. Fantasized about how I would protect my family and myself. I kept hearing noise outside. My dog was growling. (7)
Dreams
Dreams vivid (4)
Activities of the day, work
Dream: work themes, getting remedies. (2)
Dream: a garden of poppies, pansies, had planted some few days before. (5)
Dream: my pet rabbit with a shaven belly and scar (in real life we just had our rabbit fixed). (5)
Dream of work, needing to do something and sensation of being late. (3)
Animals
Dream: of bear, seemed important but couldn't remember details (8)
Numerous active dreams: one had horses in it: racing horses on racetrack, spectator, feeling was of excitement and fun (4)
Anxiety of Conscious, Seduction
Dream: I am seduced by a woman I don't know. I have a strong sexual desire for her. She makes a request that she wants me to pull her nipples very hard. I do it with the feeling of : Who is this woman and why am I here? A bit guilty, like "my wife wouldn't be pleased about this." (7)
Dream: I'm touching a beautiful woman sexually, she is very beautiful I realize it is my friend's wife although it does not look like her. I am embarrassed and guilty but was so connected to the person. I say I'm sorry to my friend for betraying him. I can see he is shocked and angry, he is crying and starts to kiss me passionately -it is very weird and uncomfortable. I awaken with a strange feeling. (7)
Concern over appearance, breasts
Dream about bicycle riding: I was riding with funny shorts. (4)F
Just before waking I dreamed of my breasts. The arteries and veins were visible beneath the skin as great florescent red stripes radiating out from my nipples superiority and green stripes inferiority. I wished for the first time that I would reach menopause soon so they would recede. (4) Running naked with breasts (9)
Confidence about getting things accomplished
Dream: Trying to get money to buy a new house. It would take a lot of work but felt like I could do it. Increased confidence in getting things done (2)
Danger at night lurking outside house
Dream: hear noise outside the house and I get up to look. Neighbor is also looking and he sees me naked. I found out later oldest son was being sprayed with fluid by neighborhood youths. Feeling of frustration that I could not catch them. (2)
Danger, hiding
Dream: On a large ship with terrorist type middle eastern men. I'm in great danger of being murdered. There are other people on the ship in a similar situation. I am trying to be amiable. I'm looking for a place to hide from these dangerous people. Next, I am hiding in a room to avoid contact with these men. (7)
Important things missing
Dream: Recurring images of CD's with reading matter imbedded between them. Also was getting mail/magazines with other labels of magazines I did not get. I feel this dream represented concerns about incorporation papers. Important thing missing, etc. (The evening before this dream I attended business meeting about incorporating the group. I feel the review of our legal documents may have influenced the dream.) (2)
Indignation
Dream: living in a loft space with husband. Large, loft-like space with partitions to make separate rooms. I came home one day to find several college age kids had moved in with us -they had torn down the partitions to make it open space again. They did not seem concerned that we had already been living there and did not want any roommates. I was very annoyed at our landlord. How could he? However, I was also intrigued by the people moving in and interested in their personalities, belongings, energy, art and music (Hip hop stuff, graffiti, MTV stuff) (5)
Dream: I got pulled over in my car by Michael Quinn. He was going to arrest me for making an illegal turn. I was pissed off, screaming "You are unfair." Who are you! (7)
Playful, adventure
Dream: A woman confides in me about money problems and I discuss it in front of another. She feels that I have violated confidence. Later I am discussing a case with another student (it is a presentation) but we are so quiet no one else can really hear. I note they must be bored. My cat has the equivalent of a broken ankle and it is going to be cast. General immobilization occurs after much discussion about what it means. Also a device to shrink and enlarge people is used by people I know. No hostile intent, playful. I found the dream interesting and especially towards the end it seemed like an adventure. Last thing I talked about with my wife before going to bed was money. (2)
Pursuit
Dream: Two boys and I are being pursued by some guy. We are looking down on him from a mountain. He is chopping down trees and spots us. We cannot climb the mountain but we go inside the mountain which was actually just an artificial structure. (2)
Rejection
I am in a big cave lit by a fire with a Native American Shaman (short hair, medium build, modern appearance). I am telling him everything about myself: who I am, what motivates me, etc. I am very animated and verbose, he turns his head and I feel rejected. (1)
Resolution
Dream: working at new agency, very efficient and good but homeopathy is not going so well. Patient is missing and finding the remedy helps find the patient. Not clear how, but nurse practitioner was also looking for this same patient. She asks me a favor. I forget what. Somehow, a sign on brass plate or door knob indicated the missing person. Although I don't remember how, it felt like some things were resolved. (2)
Robert Redford
My wife took the remedy and dreamed of Robert Redford 4x in one week. Non sexual. (7)
Roles, rank, pecking order
Dream: took course with Paul Herscu I read about in the Simillimum. He analyzed a case that a colleague and I had treated. We had prescribed allopathic med's for back pain and depression. We discussed the case. Suddenly in a restaurant, someone had disparity in pupil size. Someone commented that we were lucky to have an ophthalmologist there, as this patient had a very rare condition. (I felt this was a reflection of some of my concerns about being more of a generalist.) (2)
Dream: trying to get through traffic to destination along the way. Along the way stop at restaurant and tease a doctor in a white coat: "Are you a busboy?" (Perhaps related to NY Times article about idea that residents should not be called doctors.) Usual theme of finding class but not uptight, theme of being more laid back. (2)
Sadness
Dream: Going fishing. I have to walk down a large mountain and as I come to the river I see that it is dry. I look farther upstream and see the lake is dry. I am sad. (7)
Sense of wasted opportunities
Dream: I am a character who has some talent. I am playing with jigsaw puzzles later on after a dissolute life. Burned out. Go back to puzzles but they are just plain gray paper pieces, no color. Feeling of a sense of waste and lost opportunity. Scene shift: in a big seminar with female homeopaths dominant. More sensitive, one gets an emergency call but essentially sluffs it off. Scene shift: evaluating ADD (Attention Deficit disorder) children. Upset that child's history reveals clear problems several years earlier. When I woke up had feelings of lost opportunities. Interestingly my group may bid on contract for ADD screening. (2)
Shock, disgust
A little girl's sister appears, we find parts of her toes in the back of a pickup truck. A racist? cannibal group is responsible. We thought a pedophile was responsible before. Shock and disgust with both of these possibilities. (I note a pattern of concern about feet, occurred in another dream.) (2)
Taking things in stride
Feeling of taking things in stride and not getting uptight like I usually would, e.g. : lost a wallet but traded with the person who picked it up by mistake (I had theirs); did not have credit cards but got to make a purchase through clerk anyway (2)
Getting to class, not as competitive and, even though there was trouble getting to school and with the assignment, it was O.K. (2)
Teaching
Dream: I was with a friend, who was walking backwards teaching a woman how to sing. (7)
Teamwork, Community
Dream: creature from outer space like a Jell-O mold. It had psychic powers and could cause things to happen. I was involved in some group project and I had to kill it by pouring pepper on it and using a big cookie cutter to help break it up. An attorney was involved and he screwed the group over. Exciting dream, kind of fun but I did not like the idea of killing the alien. (2)
Worked on dinner cleanup crew and this seemed to influence my dream: theme of class working on project. Some competition (e.g. : who could get upstairs first), but later the group was working well together. (2)
Dream fragments: bunch of friends over for a super bowl game. I'm just dressed in bathrobe and pajamas...unusual for me. Problem with shoe falling apart. Friend tells me how to fix it. I thank him, not embarrassed. (2)
Dream: 2 Native American groups: one tried to coerce me into action (I don't remember what) but delivered violent beating. Other group was friendly and much nicer. Socially advanced with other groups. Ended on an upbeat note. (2)
Dream: a very clear dream of anatomy lab-dissection of the brachioplexus. Cleaning out the bins the body parts are kept in. Feeling of precision, fastidiousness, teamwork. Sunlight. Smell of formulin (5)
Dream: Taking class and working at a clinic. Having trouble getting an ambulance authorized for patient. Drove to class, supposed to teach some other students. Trouble getting to class, stuck in a factory but eventually got there. Helped clean up a mess in huge tub (sense of community) (2)
Dream: at birthday party for a friend, we were all baking a strawberry shortcake together. A very sunny, light, spring like feeling (5)
Dream: office work, General theme of groups working together (2)
Dream: Star Trek and working with the crew (2)
Dream: of the Emeryville co-housing project that I had visited two days ago: a cooperative residential development, warm fuzzy feeling about living in co-housing (5)
Dream: of alternative medicine clinic with native American spirit of cooperation. Everyone working well together (2)
Travel, journey
Dream: driving in a car over the hills while singing, very pleasant feeling. Beautiful spring scene in Sonoma County, blue sky and green pastures, blooming daffodils (5)
Travel, journey, difficulty
Dream: traveling in foreign country, turned down a dead end, another person was driving. A child bumped his head, the mother of the child ignored it. I told the driver to drive on. Later some cops went by, but they were not looking for us. The feeling on waking was of shame and guilt that I would leave the scene of an accident. (A dream fragment related to part on TV show with Mother not caring for her child with asthma, the doctor helps her out by buying some medicine.) (2)
Unhelpful, unpleasant people
Dream: I was not feeling well and people were not helpful as I looked for a bathroom. Actually they were nasty. (2)
Dream: Discussed the proving with Nancy (I can't remember what we said) People very critical, like junior high, nasty edge. I was cleaning a bathroom and doing dishes and in both situations people made nasty personal remarks. One person was at least pleasant and sympathetic but then turned negative. Nancy said Nitric Acid was the remedy. Out of town stranger asks for directions and I try to help and accompany him to dinner and a movie. In the middle of the movie he leaves me to join others. (2)
Dream: I was trying to buy the business office of a pharmacy to use as my homeopathy practice. They wanted to give it to me to use but talked about selling me the pharmacy instead. Not what I had in mind! Then I was trying to figure out remedies for people. Presented cases to a visiting expert. Went to bookstore but the books were too expensive and elaborate, outdated. Feeling of mild frustration. (2)
Dream: requested by coworker to see for couple's counseling but I did not want to. Saw a tough case of a very precocious child who arrogantly says "you don't get it" (possibly influenced by a television show about a bright murderer). Asked by prestigious clinic to help out in coverage. I was supposed to help in stress management, so told joke about money and recommended a trip. The head doctor laughed (2)
Dream: a structure or building falling apart as if an earthquake had split the building. I had been discussing homeopathy books in the library with the librarian, they wanted to remove the books from the library. (2)
Dream: Driving down freeway, battery is going dead. I'm in a store returning a shirt, the salesperson says they don't sell this particular shirt. The shirt keeps turning different colors: green and red. She shows it to everyone and tries to sell it. I'm impatient. I've driven a long way and want to complete the task. I walk out and I am with my brother going back to the car with a now-dead battery. On the way I'm in a field and there are cats that have surrounded a marmot and are attacking it. I try to scare the cats away. I'm a little afraid, they are vicious cats. (7)
UN remembered, frustrating, because unusual to not recall. (9)
Vulnerability
Football players without pads: theme of humanness and vulnerability. (2)
Violence, Callousness
Dream: of bowling alley with no bowling balls. I had to use metal platter to bowl with and it was not easy to bowl. It is a very well-to-do bowling alley, everyone owns their own ball. Earlier, I was at a very upscale abortion clinic waiting for a friend of a friend to help them with the wait. The clinic was like mall and a station stop on a subway as well. A woman who was coming there was accidentally shot. She turned into a sort of rag doll, actually a stuffed bird with the sawdust fill coming out of the neck. Someone disposed of it like trash. I was struck by the disregard and demoralization. I felt a certain callousness of the will to do that which was upsetting. (2)
Dream: Like Pulp Fiction. I and another guy are two henchmen harassing a man. I'm telling the man what a week I've had: two close calls of almost being hurt. My partner pulls a gun on the victim, I am shocked and then he points the gun at me and it is apparent that it is me he wants to shoot. I don't know why. He directs me out of the room. He knocks on the bedroom door and says "Dad?" He walks in a two young people in bed having sex. As he is caught up in that I escape. Change of scene: we are analyzing a case and the woman who took the case is taken aback when a colleague informs her that the person had a serious lung disease that the she missed because she did not do a physical exam. Scene shift: Have to treat the patient, a young woman who is inappropriate and seductive. I have to set limits. Wake up feeling mildly anxious. I am struck by the contrasts: blandness vs. sex and violence, also my mental confusion and difficulties, yet in some ways more organized and conscious. I felt the dream drew on a law and order show I had seen and the lunch I had with a family practice doctor who is interested in homeopathy. (2)
Violence, beatings
Dream: extraterrestrials against me, violent fight for life. They were trying to kill me. Nightmare.
Dream: In a restaurant eating with my brother. Couple nearby having an argument. I look at them, and the man gets upset. There is an exchange of words and my brother gets up and physically "man handles" him by striking him. Next, somehow I end up in a fight with this guy. We are all over the place, I have some kind of metal stick in one hand and a wooden stick in the other. I strike him over and over again but this guy will not stop. He just keeps on coming, he is very crazed -Like "Rocky". He won't hurt me and take me down. I'm afraid and I don't want to kill him but I see no other option. I hit him in his head and ribs over and over. "I want peace" He won't stop!! I strike and strike and strike-he falls downstairs and climbs back again. He is bloody and beaten up but won't die. I'm apologizing to his wife. Finally he goes away and promises redemption. I feel frightened, but very much want to live and survive myself. Next I'm with my family, my brother's face looks like that of an East Indian man. Someone hands me the phone and it is Phylis Diller-she wants to know about homeopathy. My mom is there and I want to tell her about this terrible fight that happened. I'm crying, she seems to not understand and says "Did you stain your suit?" I say no, she will not hear me or understand me. (7)
Violence, ego getting oneself into trouble
Dream: Spider man throws a bomb into a truck. Lifts his mask so those inside truck will see who he is before they die. The bomb does not blow up and one of the men gets out of the truck. I think about how ego got Spider man in trouble with hiding identity. (2)
Generals
Fatigue (2)
Surprisingly energetic feeling after getting only four hours sleep (5)
Fatigue 11 a.m. wish could take a nap (5)
Mares milk themes
Travel
Competition while traveling; impatience and irritability about being delayed, wanting to be the first in line
Fearful while traveling
Difficulties while traveling, especially with car travel
Pleasant travels in car through countryside
Working together, teamwork, collaboration
Pecking order, being aware of distinctions in education, training
Restlessness, difficult to meditate
Someone lurking outside the house at night, wanting to protect the family (a dream and an actual happening)
Impatient with sales people
Breasts
Indignation, How dare you? feeling
Feeling neglectful of duty
Feeling the need to organize, get rid of clutter, Industriousness, do things that have been waiting for months. OR the polarity: drowning in disorganization
Conscientiousness about trifles vs. inability to focus on trifles, details
Mistakes calculating, reversing numbers, etc., vs. Precision and Fastidiousness.
Note:
At the rubrics selection meeting prover's tried to re-experience the state knowing that the remedy was lac equinuum.
Some comments: Felt miserable, it pushed pulled my whole nature, yanked me back, everything a struggle, nothing flowed, no ease that usually occurs. Everything difficult or interrupted.
Impatient, frustrated, GET OFF MY BACK feeling, of being corralled, being reined in. interruption of flow, every time stated going forward, felt the reins pulling me back.
Struggle with roadblocks not of your own making.
When is it going to be my time?
When is it my turn?
Efforts unrequited, unrewarded.
Rubric
Rubrics chosen:
Mind
Anger; in traffic
Anxiety
Anxiety; anticipatory
Anxiety; after menses
Anxiety; conscience, of
Anxiety; lemonade; amel
Complaining
Critical, censorious
Cursing
Delusions; duty; neglected
Delusions; insane
Delusions; insulted
Delusions; hindered
Dictatorial
Discontented
Efforts; thwarted (Frustrated)
Escape; desire to
First in line; desires to be
Forgetful
Frustration
Fuzzy, sensation of
Hurry
Impatient
Indignation
Industrious
Injustice; cannot support
Irritable
Memory; weakness of
Mistakes; letters; transposes
Mistakes; numbers; in calculating
Mistakes; numbers; transposes
Noise, sensitive to
Offended, easily
Quarrelsome
Restlessness
Restlessness; meditation, during
Thoughts; wandering
Travel, desire to
Physicals
Head
Head; pain
Eyes
Dry
Nose
Nose; coryza; air, in open, cold; ameliorates
Mouth
Bleeding; gums; easily
Stomach
Stomach; pain; burning
Stomach; nausea
Stomach; desires; lemonade
Stomach; aversion; chocolate
Abdomen
Distension
Flatulence; after eating
Pain; cramping
Pain, pressure
Rectum
Flatus; after eating
Constipation
Stool
Loose
Male
Male; sexual passion; diminished
Female
Female; sexual passion; diminished
Female; sexual passion; increased
Sleep
Sleep; waking; 3 or 4 a.m.
Sleeplessness; after midnight
Sleeplessness; after 3 a.m.
Sleeplessness; 3-5 a.m.
Dreams; unsuccessful efforts
Dreams; police
Dreams; pursued
Dreams; amorous
Dreams; animals
Dreams; animals; restrained by collars
Dreams; breasts
Dreams; vivid; remember; difficult to
Dreams; fights
Dreams; journeys; difficulties during
Dreams; naked
Dreams; teamwork
Dreams; foreigners
Skin
Skin; eruptions; herpetic
Skin; eruptions; circinate
Generals
Evening or twilight; ameliorates
Fatigue
Pulse, frequent, motion aggravates
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